Yea, yea this movie came out last summer but it just came on to Netflix so it’s still SUPER relevant. I have a handful of thoughts on this sequel, but to sum it up in one sentence: It’s better than Mulan 2, Pocahontas 2, and Finding Dory, but it’s still not better than Lion King 2, The Two Towers, or Camp Rock 2. And yes I’ll go to the mat on that.

My other thoughts on Incredibles 2:

1) Violet’s voice is honestly super annoying. I know it’s hard to voice an angsty emotional teenage superhero girl, but if we could just take the nasal-y-ness a couple notches down, it’d be much appreciated!

2) I’m kind of super confused as to where all the other superheroes came from. I get that adding more heroes makes the movie more “diverse” but once you open that Pandora’s box, there’s so many clarifications that I need: are these heroes from other parts of America or the world? They had foreign accents so I’d guess they’re from all over the world, but if that’s the case how are there only like 8 more? There’s 197 countries in the world and there’s only one “Incredible” family and 8 extra heroes (one of which is an old man who’s bowel movements turning into lava = a super power?)? Also, why not just steal ALL the X-men powers? If you’re gonna have a metal-mind-crusher-guy, you better have Wolverine thrown in there too. It’s only fair.

3) Jack Jack is the best part of this movie and the sequel should have just been about him.

4) I liked the hypnosis aspect because it was kinda creepy and unique. HOWEVER, you’d think that a computer genius who can hypnotize people would have come up with a more permanent way of controlling them than SUNGLASSES. They were so easy to take off that the heroes should honestly have been insulted. Sunglasses? Really? Couldn’t even do strap on goggles? Or a helmet? I have 5 more ideas that are better than sunglasses and I’m not even that invested in this.

5) Frozone worked the hardest by far. Currently waiting for that movie.

6) I love that taking care of 3 kids was significantly harder than being a superhero. It is. And that was for sure the moral of this movie.

7) Red is out, Black is in. If you don’t believe me, watch “Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse”

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns

If you have Netflix and find yourself babysitting 5-12 year olds then you’re in luck cuz this movie will pass the time well and it’s pretty entertaining. Does it blow my mind in the superhero movie category? No. Is it one of the best sequels I’ve seen? Also no. But would I watch this on a Saturday during the day even though it’s sunny outside? Yes. And I did. Do what you will with that.

Best

PFP

Inner dialogue BEFORE the movie started:

-“This title is dumb.”

-“Spider-verse? omg. This is going to be a stupid movie.”

-“I should not have paid money for this.”

-“Man, I can’t even vaguely remember the preview for this film.”

-“Is this actually a comic book or did someone make this one up? Ugh. Too many comics. Can’t keep track.”

Inner dialogue DURING the movie:

-“My eyes are literally watering why is this so blurry?”

-“Is this a 3D movie? How did I miss the glasses?”

-“Yea. Still super blurry.”

-“NOOOOO. PLEASE. NO. I CAN’T TAKE ANOTHER AWKWARD LOVE STORY. PLEASE. I just started liking this main character – TAKE THE GIRL AWAY I’M BEGGING YOU!”

-“Oh praise. She’s from a different dimension. Can’t get too serious.”

-“Bless, this dad right now. small tear….”

-“Why is this villain so fat. like so. fat. not even why. more like how?? HOW is this villain so fat!?”

-“Is that Nicolas Cage?”

-“No way. The Uncle!! #plottwist #familydrama #starwars”

-“Ooooo the black suit is DOPE. (is dope still trendy…)”

-“So. Many. Things. HAPPENING!!” *fighting* *kicking* *pretty colors* *fighting*

-“Awwwww. That was precious.”

Outward dialogue after the movie:

-“I mean, I guess for a weird comic book animated movie it was fine.”

Inner dialogue after the movie:

“Wow, that was fantastic and I definitely cried at least twice. How long is this in theaters for? Is it weird to still go to the movies by yourself? Probably not if you go during the week, I’d assume. Cool.”

Popcorn Rating: 4 blurry popped corns

This movie was NOT what I had thought it would be, and it was way more funny and touching than I had expected. I laughed, I cried, and I think I was cross-eyed for most of the beginning, but it’s fine. I highly recommend all fathers and sons to schedule a special outing to see this film. Mothers and daughters you can go to, but there’s not enough over-analyzing or passive aggressiveness for it to actually be relatable. Super thrilled that the Hollywood animation game is still going strong.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

I am not a big fan of Superhero movies. Why you may ask? I don’t know. It could be that I have 2 sisters and comic books literally never entered our house. It could also be that I was too busy watching ‘I Love Lucy’ re-runs to even notice that Batman and Superman lunchboxes were sweeping the nation. Or it could also be because I don’t have enough time or energy to watch the 67 Superhero movies that have already been made with characters I’ve never heard of. For whatever reason, Superhero films were just not my cup of tea. UNTIL NOW. I need to make 3 statements about this film now and will then expand below in my oh-so-predictable list: 1) “Aquaman” is Hunkalicious 2) I am still confused about a lot of things 3)This movie rocked.

Statement Expansions:

1) “Aquaman” is Hunkalicious – WOWIE where has Jason Momoa been all my life? yea, ok, he’s been in like 20 movies already, but none of them were quite this good. Also his eyebrows are like one pluck away from being creepy, so props to the make up crew for keeping him classy and gorgeous!

2) I am still confused about a lot of things:

a) Where did Nicole Kidman come from? Who shot her? Why did the crazy water men in storm trooper outfits not find her immediately after the attack? I don’t understand how Atlantis is so ahead of it’s time and yet so bad at finding their queen. I mean, I’m happy she was able to give birth to Aquaman, but I’m also having a hard time grasping how she could go YEARS without being discovered. No comprendo.

b) Why didn’t Nicole and her new fam just MOVE? If you find out your water breathing abusive husband is hunting you down why do you continue living in a LIGHTHOUSE? Move!! Find a landlocked country for goodness sake! Or try Kansas or Nebraska or Iowa! 100% the Atlantian super troopers would not survive in Nebraska long enough to find you. I don’t get it. There were so many other things you could have done instead of RETURN BACK TO THE SEA!

c) Exactly how strong is Aquaman? Cuz like in one scene he is literally lifting up a submarine filled with dozens of men and oh yea – it’s a submarine! And then in another scene, he’s getting his butt kicked by a guy in a bug-eyed costume. What are your strength boundaries? Can you lift crazy heavy objects but then can’t fist fight well? Is it like cross-fit athletes where they can lift hundreds of pounds above their head, but then they throw a frisbee and it doesn’t go very far and then lands on its’ side and starts rolling back to them a little? I need to see these strength boundaries please.

d) Never in my life did I ever, seriously EVER, think I’d see the day where Willem Dafoe was NOT a bad guy. WELL SLAP MY BUTT AND CALL ME SALLY. What the actual heck. You CANNOT look like Willem Dafoe and just be a solid supporting positive character! That’s ridiculous. I do not accept. I demand a recount.

e) The bug-eyed pirate man needs to CHILL. He is too angry for his own good. I will personally chip in for a deep tissue massage because nobody needs a sequel where the villain is once again an angry son. There’s too many angry sons out there and they all need some spa days to relax and re-prioritize! Take a minute, refocus, go back to school and REACH YOUR FULL POTENTIAL!

3) This movie rocked.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns

Even though there were multiple layers of misunderstanding on my end AND I still struggle to find the obsession with Superhero movies as a genre – I loved Jason Momoa in this film and was thoroughly entertained the entire 2 hours and 22 minutes of it. Enjoy watching Willem Dafoe NOT betray someone he loves for his own selfish gain and instead just do the right thing time and time again (eye roll).

Wakanda Forever,

PFP

Well Hello Michael B. Jordan’s shoulders!

If that picture alone doesn’t get your butt off the couch and running to a Redbox, then you don’t deserve to watch this movie!

Now, I know some people might call me crazy, but the ‘Rocky’ empire was slowly but surely turning into the ‘Land Before Time’ empire….aka too many films, not enough plot. Yes, Sylvester, I just compared your film saga to that of an extinct dinosaur saga, but sometimes the truth hurts. Lucky for you though, MBJ brought it back in a really big way.

Here’s what I think you need to know about this film:

1. Sylvester Stallone talks at an all time glacial pace. Having the patience of a saint to listen to his lines is an understatement, but hey, you gotta take the good with the bad.
2. Florian Munteanu plays Creed’s rival and is actually a Romanian fighter IRL. However, in this movie he plays a Russian fighter who trains in Ukraine and I love how those are all basically interchangeable countries to us highly educated Americans. They could have thrown in a Bulgarian half-sister and a Moldavian dog and we wouldn’t have batted an eye. IT’S ALL THE SAME OVER HERE. THANKS HOLLYWOOD.
3. The main lesson I learned from this movie is that if you want to get fit, go to a gym. But if you want to get tough and destroy a Transylvanian fighter – you must work out in the desert with no water or clean equipment.
4. Literally can’t get over how slow Sylvester talked. Need to make it another point.
5. {Spoiler Alert} As much as I love the added emotional layer of Creed’s girlfriend getting pregnant – it just added a new distraction tbh. Also, it raised SO many babysitting questions. Not sure if anyone else noticed this, but in his final fight scene the girlfriend is there, the mother is there, and Sylvester is there – SO WHO IS WATCHING THE BABY! That baby is like 3 months old – you can’t just leave that with a teenager! Plus, they’re in Russia/Ukraine/Romania/Turkey/Whatever – what teenager do you know out there? I don’t think there’s a Care.com in Russia you can use. Hollywood, don’t add babies into these movies if you aren’t willing to go through the trouble of answering my Day Care questions! It’s rude.
6. The ending of this movie is awesome and yet also incredibly predictable. But then again, if they were able to make 5 Rocky movies and we’re currently on Creed 2 – you can assume Creed ain’t dyin’ or losin’ big anytime soon.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns and a kernel for MBJ’s shoulders

Welp, there you have it. Didn’t have too many complaints about this one. Highly recommend to watch with your dad or a distant brother if you need something to bond over without any talking involved. Also a great motivator if you want to work out in the dirt but can’t get yourself out there – this just might!

Sincerely,

PFP

So remember how I gave “A Christmas Prince” one popped corn and basically said it was a trash movie but looked pretty (glitter in a garbage can analogy)? Well…this movie is like faded glitter in a DUMP. What is going on, Netflix?!? Did you stalk MGM studios, dig through their trash, and find their old, sad, and discarded Rom-Com scripts but then decided to add a Christmas tree and call it a “Family Holiday Movie”? It’s actually getting ridiculous. I don’t care how many post-peak Disney channel stars you cast, these movies are indisputably bad and I can’t believe I’ve watched 4 of them. (Oh yes, there’s at least 2 more reviews coming).

The plot holes of “The Princess Switch” (more like plot craters because they weren’t hard to find):

1) There’s no way the main male lead (Kevin) could have had a daughter that old! He is for sure 32, 35 at most and that girl was definitely 15. I don’t care if you tell me she’s 8. She ain’t 8. I teach high schoolers and her attitude/sad handshake is 100% high school age. Nice try, Netflix.

2) I’m not sure how many of you saw “The Parent Trap” with Lindsey Lohan but it took those girls 3+ days to memorize all their family stuff/personality traits/habits and they were working REAL fast. Plus it took them like 5 hours trapped in a cabin to even figure out that they were related. Now, you’re telling me that Vanessa Hudgens can not only recognize her long lost “twin” in 2 minutes flat, but that it only takes 1 hour to learn to be a princess?!? Get Outta Here. That is probably the craziest 3 minute montage I’ve ever seen in my life. Also, the haircut was bad.

3) How could you possibly be best friends with someone for 12 years and not see them with their shirt off?? Did they literally never go to a beach or pool or jacuzzi in their 12 years of best-friend-ness? I’m calling BULL! (If you don’t remember this scene that’s ok, it just means you were too distracted by Kevin’s 16-pack to realize that America-Vanessa Hudgens had nonchalantly said on the phone that she never saw Kevin without his shirt on. Which is preposterous if they are actually best friends. Which they obviously weren’t. Obviously.)

4) Cutting the KitchenAid cord was probably the LAMEST way to sabotage a bake off. It was actually hysterical how anticlimactic that scene was.

Vanessa: “I’ll make the jam now. Oh, the mixer doesn’t work. How will I purée these berries?”

Kevin: “Guess you gotta do it by hand”

Vanessa: “Squash berries by hand? But that’s so old school.” End scene.

Why not take all their flour? Or grab their decorations? Their sugar? Literally anything else aside from cutting the one wire to the mixer that is apparently only used for jam….

5) I cannot for the life of me believe that the solution to this love problem was to make a Chicago baker a pretend princess and to make an actual princess a commoner in Chicago! THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN NETFLIX!! Unless of course you failed to mention the part where the Prince is actually a prince of a made up kingdom, so there’s no real power, or country, or crown. Oh wait. Ok so now I’m just supposed to believe that in made up countries anyone can be a princess?? Are there more of these countries in existence? Cuz I can bake and I also like buying gifts for kids. Call me.

Popcorn Rating: one corn below “A Christmas Prince”

Even though High School Musical literally made 2006 the best year ever, Vanessa Hudgens was simply not able to make this movie good. I am a big fan of horrible Christmas movies but this one was so cringy- it made it hard to binge eat cookies. Only watch if you’ve literally seen everything else.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

I don’t know about you but when I first read this movie title the only words that I actually comprehended were “The Potato Society”, which immediately captured my interest. Keep in mind that my process for choosing which movies to watch might not be completely orthodox. My selection process usually goes like this:

Is there a leading lady that I recognize? (yes)

Is there a leading man who I find easy to look it? (heck yes)

Does the title sound awesome? (nope)

Does the title sound so bad that I could most likely mock it forever? (for sure)

This movie obviously made it to the top of my list because it checked off 3 out of the 4 available boxes – which is 2 more than it really needed, so yes, this movie was quite the over-achiever. Now, to my chagrin, this movie was actually incredible and is a new fave and I’m totally serious when I say WATCH THIS BEFORE NETFLIX REALIZES THEY COULD MAKE MONEY OFF THIS MOVIE.

Even though the title is preposterous, the characters, dialogue, plot, and scenery are AMAZING. I hate writing rave reviews because I always run out of fancy positive words….amazing, awesome, incredible, wonderful, great…UGH. It’s so much easier to come up with creative ways to crap on a movie than to come up with nice things to say about a phenomenal film.  So, instead of pretending that I didn’t just use a thesaurus to come up with the words: astounding, marvelous, remarkable, breathtaking, and sensational…I’m just gonna leave you with a few pictures and you can decide for yourself if you’d rather watch it and be forever changed or choose not to, and just waste your life away. It’s your choice. But don’t be an idiot.

Popcorn Rating: 5 popped corns

This movie is honestly the best. It has depth, it has love, it breaks your heart, but also gives you hope. You can watch this with your mom, dad, cousin, friend, lover, dentist, literally anyone! Enjoy.

Sincerely,

PFP

Have you ever seen tons of glitter in a trash can? Like mounds of glitter and sequins and shiny sparkly tassels in a garbage bin? If not, imagine what that would look like. THAT is this movie. It is 100% trash but it’s pretty and sparkly and looks very nice, so aside from the fact that it is garbage, it’s quite appealing to the eyes.

Ready. Set. Test Time:

Think of every single cliche romantic thing that could happen in a cheesy love movie. Think of all of them. I mean it. Don’t leave anything out. Do you have your list? Ok, now compare it to mine:

1) A Meet-cute that involves fighting/arguing of some kind to create the initial tension in a relationship we all crave

2) Wrong identity/hidden identity of one of the main characters so that there’s always one massive misunderstanding in the middle of the movie

3) One character has lots of money so everything is like a fairytale and no one’s on a budget

4) A younger sibling of one of the characters brings out the hidden vulnerable side of said character

5) Orphans are present

6) Bad boy turns good boy because small town girl shows him truth and honesty and other gag-worthy insights

7) A major “Damsel in Distress” moment – preferably with wolves and horses because that’s super relevant to real life

8) Horse ride/sleigh ride in the woods to justify the trip to New Zealand/Scotland/Wherever in Europe the director wanted to go

9) Ball gown is needed at some point in the movie because cocktail parties are far too trashy for a holiday shindig

10) Romantic dancing – usually involving a string quartet

11) A kiss at midnight to embrace the Cinderella fairytale (New Years Eve kiss is even better)

12) Unpredictable engagement- cuz we all know REAL women want that comin’ outta left field #eyeroll

13) A reading of a romantic letter/poem so that we know the handsome rich boy can actually read

-End Of List-

Debrief: Were you able to come up with more? Good for you! Did we have a lot in common? Probably, because my list basically covers the classics: “Beauty and the Beast”, “Some Kind of Wonderful”, “A Cinderella Story”, “A Walk To Remember”, “Pride and Prejudice”, “The Importance of Being Ernest”, “Win a Date With Tad Hamilton”, and “Love Story”.

Now, I would like you to reread this list and try to imagine a movie that contains ALL of these cliche, cheesy, romantic and oh-so predictable plot points. Can’t think of one? That’s because you haven’t seen “A Christmas Prince” yet!!!

That’s right! Ladies and gentleman, this Christmas romantic Netflix movie contains not one, not two, but ALL 13 ITEMS ON THIS LIST. Let me guess, you’re probably thinking “This cannot be possible! That’s way too much cheese for one motion picture! She must have watched 3 Julia Roberts movies in a row and then watched a few Disney commercials and then saw “A Christmas Prince”, which is probably why her list is so long and ridiculous.” I ASSURE YOU. This movie is real. It’s less than 2 hours long, and it is jam-packed full of every single romantic tagline, story plot, and serendipitous encounter one would only hope to find in the bloopers of a Hallmark movie.

Popcorn Rating: 1 popped corn

HOWEVER, please keep in mind that even though this movie is complete and utter cinematic trash, I will for sure be watching it again and again because it is the most satisfying and most predictable love plot in the history of the world and I like to watch movies that do exactly what my 16 year old mind would have told them to do. Happy Christmas!

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

Have you ever caught yourself sitting around on a Saturday thinking “I really want to be stressed out, nervous, and experience a little vertigo!” If so, you’re in luck – I have found the perfect movie for you!

“Free Solo” is a film about climber Alex Honnold free-soloing El Capitan in Yosemite, which is another way of saying climbing without any ropes, water, or sanity. Alex Honnold is legit crazy and this movie was incredible.

Before talking about why this movie is awesome I just want to get some of my personal issues out of the way:

1) “Free Solo” is a bad title. I personally hate titles of movies that are actions. Die Hard. Step Up. Do the Right Thing. Like what if I don’t want to?! Why do these titles need to be so aggressive?! Also, a movie called “Solo” literally just came out like 6 months ago, so it sounds like this is a sequel. Not sure what we can do about it, but it bothers me.

2) The film did not spend nearly enough time on Alex Honnold’s eating habits. There were like 2 scenes of him eating – one where he was directly eating from a spatula and another where he was directly sipping from a sauce pan. I NEED MORE.

3) Tommy Caldwell’s kid needs a show. E! Network where you at?

List #2 – Why I loved this movie:

1) I love watching people do things that I would never and could never do. That’s why the Olympics are so great. I find it so satisfying sitting in a comfy chair, eating popcorn and drinking a cherry coke icee while watching a passionate, motivated, crazy man climb an impossible wall of rock. It really puts life in perspective. Like I could be like him right now if I wanted – I could drive to Yosemite and clip a chalk bag to my pants and start climbing, but I made a decision today and that decision was to live. It’s pretty powerful stuff.

2) Alex’s vocabulary was impeccable. I had to google 3 words after watching that movie because my USC Masters degree is apparently not good enough to understand his common climbing vernacular.

3) Alex’s relationship with his girlfriend was both hysterical and heartbreaking. There is literally no filter between the two of them which is incredibly entertaining to watch but also super sad when you realize he doesn’t actually care about her feelings. Again, odd relationship, great movie material.

4) I really loved the fact that they also showed the film crews’ perspective in this film. I never think about the film crew – mainly because I think all movies are real life and I am simply spying on them. But getting to hear and see the film crews’ side of the story was really insightful. Also, those guys are so fit. Wow.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns

I was stressed out for about 60% of this movie, so I’m not sure if I can watch it again. However, it was incredibly interesting, Alex Honnold is super entertaining, and the film crew should have another movie made for them because their job was insane. I mean so was Alex’s job, but like, he got this movie so he’s good now.

Live long and prosper,

PFP

I cannot believe that people do not like this movie! When it came out in theaters like 10 years ago I asked my friends if it was worth seeing and they all told me “no”. So naturally I waited until it was out on Netflix, so here we are.

I am literally so shocked that this movie got such a bad rap. Now let me get a few questions out of the way: 1) Does the plot make no sense? No. 2) Are there loopholes everywhere? Naturally. 3) Are none of your questions ever answered in the film? Of course not. BUT (and this is the game changer) Keanu Reeves looks so good in a turtleneck!!!! Does any of that other stuff really matter now? NOPE.

This movie has the worst storyline ever, the time difference between the two characters never gets explained, and at a certain point they stop using the mailbox as their time machine and just straight up yell into the air at each other over a two year time difference. But you know what? I DON’T CARE. I don’t care about any of it because this was hands down Keanu’s most attractive appearance in any movie and I appreciate that so much. Forget “The Martix”, forget “Speed”, and definitely forget about “John Wick” (like how many of you even remember that one?). “The Lake House” is FOR SURE Keanu in his prime and I enjoyed every second of it.

There’s something ridiculously freeing about watching a movie and accepting the fact that it makes no sense, that it will never make sense, and that it was created to straight up confuse you. It’s like the movie version of “LOST”! I don’t care how many interviews J. J. Abrams does, his show was ridiculous and even he doesn’t know why there was a polar bear in season 1. That’s fine. Do you J.J. As long as you keep casting people like Michael Fox, I will not complain. Lucky for us, “The Lake House” was only a 2 hour investment, where “Lost” was like a good part of 4 years.

Needless to say, this movie doesn’t need a list of its reasons to or to not watch. The main take away of “The Lake House” is this:

*Sandra Bullock is a babe (always and forever) and Keanu can’t act for beans but this is the best he’s ever looked in a film and for that it’s a new fave of mine. Turtlenecks FTW.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns as long as you don’t watch the movie for the storyline

I’m seriously watching this again tonight. It made me laugh, cry, and roll my eyes. What else could you want?

Sincerely

PFP

This entire movie is HASHTAG GOALS!!

I don’t even know where to begin. Loved the cast, loved the story, loved the wedding, loved literally everything about this movie.

I also read the book before watching the movie because I wanted to be THAT person after the movie that says “oh the book was so much better”. But {SPOILER ALERT} the book was SO MUCH WORSE!! I don’t have the time or desire to do a compare/contrast with the book and the movie, but just take my word for it – the movie is better and you should just skip the book altogether. UNLESS, of course, you want to support Kevin Kwan since he did come up with this awesome story line in the first place (that just happened to make a better movie than a book), but that’s your call.

Here are a few things I adored about this film in case you’re on the fence about watching it (this should teeter you over):

1) Reading about gossip spreading is probably the hardest thing ever!! You get dizzy just trying to follow it. But watching one text get sent to a Facebook messenger that gets sent to a group chat that gets shared online that gets snapped to people – is entertaining AF! Basically every juicy/gossipy/rumor-spreading thing that happens in this movie (which is basically half the movie) is so entertaining to watch on screen- I get excited just thinking about it! This film makes you so thankful that you don’t personally know the Kardashians and/or have Crazy Rich Asian friends that want to sabotage your love life. It’s a great feeling.

2) Singapore looks like if Heaven had a baby with Versailles and then added food everywhere. Someone buy me a plane ticket pronto.

3) The amount of tall and attractive Asian men in this film was enough to make me pay $13. No need for a storyline. Just the cast please. K thx.

4) The Mah Jong scene at the end literally gave me goose bumps and I truly believe that anyone who can play Mah Jong that well should run for president. #rachelforpresident2020

5) I cannot tell you how much I loved Rachel’s friend Peik Lin. If you don’t have a best friend like that – you need to start casting your net! Also, I need to start keeping a cocktail outfit, workout outfit, professional outfit, and casual outfit in my trunk as well. It’s a brilliant idea and clearly comes in handy when your best friend is dating an Asian billionaire.

6) Astrid spent $1.2 million dollars on a pair of earrings without batting an eye. TEACH ME YOUR WAYS. Actually, more accurately. TEACH MY HUSBAND YOUR WAYS.

Popcorn Rating: 5 popped corns

The cast is perfection. The story line is amazing. The ending is superb. Go to the theaters now while you still can!

Best

PFP