Okkkkkkkkkkkkk

So this is definitely as sad as it sounds. I honestly thought this was going to be a Netflix version of “Letters to Juliet” (which is a class A movie, btw) BUT instead of being straight forward and simple, Netflix had to go off and add 14 twists and turns that literally nobody asked for.

I have a few things I’d like to discuss so there will be spoilers and some HOT and FRESH opinions! Enjoy:

1) I need Hollywood, Netflix, HBO, Apple, and whoever else makes movies nowadays to put an END to these Romantic Affair movies!! I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be cheering on people who are being dishonest and I ALSO don’t want to be encouraging women to marry douchebags in the first place. Can we just cut the crap and create some healthy drama??? Like a married couple who fights while painting the nursery or a couple that decides they don’t like the name they gave their dog or something?? There’s just SO. MANY. MOVIES. featuring a sad woman who has an affair with a wild and attractive man and it’s just getting OLD.

2) The amount of times Shailene Woodley packed her things to leave her husband was comical. I know it wasn’t funny at the time, but I just don’t see why this film needed to have THAT many desperate moments. It starts to lose its thrill by the end.

3) Combining basically EVERY Romantic movie together doesn’t actually get you a great movie. Let me break it down for you. It’s EXACTLY like “Letters to Juliet” in that there’s a letter found by a young couple who eventually fall in love by following and searching the old people’s love story. Then it’s like “The Vow” because there’s an accident where her memory is gone and she just believes everything her old beau says. THENNNN it’s like “The Notebook” because it ends with the old couple remembering their past and getting all of 20 seconds together. Nice attempt at an original screenplay, Netflix, but you did not fool me!!

4) Lastly, Newspapers need to get more organized with their evidence. Why is everything such a mess?! I know print is dying, but I’m pretty sure college students are still poor and would gladly take a job organizing letters and papers if you paid them in Kraft Mac N Cheese boxes.

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns

I know I crapped a lot on the movie, but overall it was interesting, a little funny, and had great clothes! So would I recommend, not really, but would I watch it again….probably.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

I have been on a MAJOR Ewan McGregor kick. I don’t know if it’s because I’m in my 30s or what but YUMMY. Also, loving him in the dad role. Literally can’t get enough.

So when I first saw the trailer for this movie my initial thoughts were 1) This Winnie the Pooh is terrifying like no kid has ever picked THAT type of teddy bear at the mall and 2) No way is this going to be a believable plot

Well hold on to your horses cause this chick flipping LOVED this film.

Reasons to watch “Christopher Robin”:

1) The joy that Pooh has when he sees a balloon is on par with the level a child has in a candy store, and I am here for it.

2) The storyline is so ridiculous that you have to enjoy it, and it truly does make for a fun movie

3) The choice between family and work is such a common and unfortunate issue that almost every father in America has to make. I love that this film didn’t make light of it but also tried to address it in a meaningful way.

4) It’s fun knowing that someone in the world will most like have a tattoo of the one liners in this film. They’re THAT good. And also people are THAT weird.

Reasons to NOT watch “Christopher Robin”:

1) You didn’t have a childhood.

2) You don’t watch movies.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns

Overall I loved this movie – it was just a feel good, cute, and joyous film, with bits of real life and real problems thrown in – like bacon bits on a salad. Highly recommend for families or uncomfortable friendships – can’t go wrong with this one!

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

I recently saw someone post that the “Alice in Wonderland” soundtrack was one of their favorite Disney soundtracks. Shocking, yes? But then I realized that I haven’t actually seen the live action versions of “Alice in Wonderland” because they always seemed, oh what’s the word….not worth my time. However, before I am able to comment on the above post and say “but have you seen literally any other Disney film?”, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t speaking too hastily. So I began the Wonderland journey and proceeded to watch “Alice in Wonderland” and “Alice Through the Looking Glass”. My thoughts are as follows:

1) I was right.

2) Watch any other Disney movie.

Popcorn Rating: 1 burnt kernel for Anne Hathaway who tried but failed as a Queen (stick to being a princess).

Aside from Alice’s breathtaking Chinese Qipao she wore in the first film, everything else was bizarre and uncomfortable. No thank yew.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

You know how people say “There’s no such thing as a good sequel”. And then argumentative people, like myself, try to throw in “But Lion King 2 wasn’t so bad! And Creed II had one of the best work out montages I’ve ever seen!” Well…unfortunately for me, this sequel basically takes the cake. I’ve seen ‘Pocahontas 2’, ‘Camp Rock 2’, ‘Rocky 2’, ‘Godfather 2’, ‘High School Musical 2’, and ‘Hangover 2’ so trust me when I say…nothing is as bad as ‘The Kissing Booth 2’.

Literally the only good part about this movie was the unrealistic DDR dance off with the only good looking actor in the film! Yes, that scene was completely ridiculous, but hey, I’ll watch a solid dance performance any day over cringy acting and overly dramatic reactions to underly dramatic events (yes, for now ‘underly’ is a word).

I honestly don’t even want to spend this much time writing a review for this movie because I’m actually getting angry the longer I type about it. But I’ve saved the worst for last. Are you buckled in? Here goes. I’m about 99.99% sure they are making this a TRILOGY. I almost died at the end when the “new guy” aka the good looking actor still had his eyes set on Elle and said something to the effect of “I’m not giving up that easy”….NOOOOOOO. Give up! We don’t want to see this! Is there a survey? Can there be a survey? Just right at the end of EVERY Netflix original film. Please?! “Would you like to see a sequel?” NO! “Would you like Elle to end up with Noah?” NO! “But don’t you want to them kiss all the time because their 17 inch height difference is so much fun to witness on screen?” NO!

Like is anyone else so disturbed by their height difference? It’s too much. Pretty sure there’s 6 million other actors that would gladly take the role that aren’t 6’13”! Yes, I know he’s not actually 6’13” but the camera apparently adds 10 lbs and 8 inches.

I’m just gonna say one last thing and then I’ll leave this alone: High School PA systems are not turned on and off by a bright red button anymore! What is this, 1990?? Bueller….Bueller…..And if this movie is supposed to be kinda sorta circa 2020 then the PA system would most definitely be via the front office secretary’s phone and you have to dial in to get an announcement going. Can they just get ONE THING RIGHT?!?!

Popcorn Rating: 1 popped corn for the dance

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

OK I have recently been on an animation kick. I don’t know if it’s because all the new live action movies have to do with death and destruction or if it’s just because I still like to pretend I’m 9 years old and believe in dragons. Whatever the reason, I have been devouring these new Disney+ films like it’s my job. So here goes my review of “Raya and the Last Dragon”.

First things first – I can tell that I am getting OLD AF because Raya’s dad was looking REAL FINE. I hate to break it to you, but there will come a day when you watch ‘The Little Mermaid’ and you will find yourself whole heartedly agreeing with King Triton because you realize that a 16 year old disrespectful mermaid really should NOT be allowed to become human and run off with a man she just saw on a boat. Oh, and don’t you dare judge me on finding an animated character attractive, I KNOW there be men out there looking for a real life Kim Possible.

Secondly, Awkwafina as a dragon definitely gave Eddie Murphy a run for his money. Trust me, I do not say this lightly because it would be blasphemy for me to casually compare anyone to the high caliber of acting that is Mushu, but my honest opinion is that Sisu (last dragon) is basically the Mushu for Gen Zs. Mazel Tov, you get a sassy dragon for your generation. FUTURE PREDICTION: If Awkwafina can land a role voicing a donkey, she can happily end her career.

Thirdly, I am really enjoying seeing Disney create less princesses and more female warriors/adventurers. It gives me all the feels. Also, I think we have definitely spent enough time in Europe, so the new exploration of Asian animated characters is really filling my cup!

Lastly, this film has strong “Guardians of the Galaxy” vibes and I was into it. I’ll prove it to you below. Please take note that I will die on this hill:

Gamora : Raya = main female warrior

Star-Lord/Peter : Sisu = comic relief and best friend of warrior

Drax : Tong = Large yet sensitive man

Groot : Little Noi = character that doesn’t speak but helps out loads

Rocket : Boun = chatty Cathy ,small in stature, and also adds comic relief

Nebula : Namaari = Evil nemesis that eventually turns to good for Gamora/Raya character

Thanos : Virana = The always evil character

Well, there you have it. I highly recommend watching this movie especially with your children as long as they can handle giant armadillo hamsters and somewhat aggressive sword fighting.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns and an extra kernel for the dad *wink*

Snaps for Disney.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

Hello. As a movie enthusiast, I constantly struggle with: To Watch or To Blog? That is the question! And for anyone who follows me attentively, you would probably be able to answer that I most often choose “TO WATCH”! So for anyone that cares to see what has been on my Watchlist recently – I have been logging the movies I have watched this year. I have dated them as proof that I have no life and a quite obvious movie-watching problem. You may also notice that I have had a few phases of “Based on True Story” movies, “Animations” (still in that one), and “Netflix Comedy Specials”.

I am posting this to be judged but also to justify why my posts have been slow this year. I plan to remedy that soon, but for now, enjoy my vice – I am at 64 movies to date:

Movie List 2021

January

1. The Social Network 1/5
2. Catch Me If You Can 1/8
3. The American President 1/10
4. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape 1/10
5. Four Christmases 1/11
6. Julie and Julia 1/11
7. The Hustle 1/12
8. Monty python and the Holy Grail 1/14
9. Searching for Bobby Fisher 1/15
10. Onward 1/20
11. What to expect when you’re expecting 1/21
12. Onward (2x) 1/24
13. The 41st Day 1/25
14. Free Solo 1/28
15. Wall Street 1/29
16. Bitcoin documentary 1/30

February

1. Concussion 2/1
2. Hook 2/4
3. Bombshell 2/4
4. The Founder 2/5
5. Eat, Pray, Love 2/6
6. The Dig 2/6
7. Hillbilly Elegy 2/7
8. Eurovision 2/10
9. Focus 2/10
10. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society 2/12
11. To All the Boys: Always & Forever 2/13
12. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2/13
13. Kung Fu Panda 2/13
14. Ides of March 2/14
15. Mystic Pizza 2/15
16. To All the Boys: PS I still love you 2/15
17. To All the Boys I’ve loved before  2/16
18. Work it 2/17
19. Remember Me 2/17
20. The Kissing Booth 2/18
21. The kissing booth 2 2/19
22. Pirates of the Caribbean 2/20
23. Someone Great 2/21
24. Amy Schumer: Growing 2/22
25. A Walk to Remember 2/22
26. Always be my Maybe 2/23
27. Brian Regan: On the Rocks 2/25
28. Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia 2/25
29. Trevor Noah: Afraid of the Dark 2/26
30. Michelle Buteau: Buteaupia 2/28

March

1. Ali Wong: Hard Knock Wife 3/2
2. Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 3/5
3. John Mulaney: Comeback Kid 3/6
4. Raya 3/7
5. Step Up 4: Revolution 3/10
6. Crazy Stupid Love 3/11
7. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 3/12
8. Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter Life Crisis 3/13
9. Dads 3/13
10. Daniel Sloss: Dark 3/14
11. Frozen 2 3/15
12. Soul 3/16
13. The Big Short 3/20
14. Ice Age 3/21
15. Dr. Strange 3/24
16. Tarzan 3/26
17. Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez 3/28
18. Emperor’s New Groove 3/31

Be at peace with your unhealthy habit!

Truthfully Yours

PFP

HOLY CRAP HAVE I BEEN WAITING FOR A BAND DIRECTOR MOVIE LIKE THIS!! Yes, I am aware that we have “The Music Man” and “Music of the Heart”, but to have an animated jazz band teacher movie out there in the world is just. the. best!

I am tempted to just give you all the FABULOUS commentary that my very lucky husband got to hear while I watched this movie with him. HOWEVER, I’m just going to give you the highlights of this film that resonated oh-so-dearly with me!

Highlights:

1. I nearly died at the opening credits because the middle school band cover of the “Universal” theme song was literally GOLD. Very similar to the classic “flute fail 20th century fox” video. IYKYK.
2. I LOVED the conversation that the little trombone girl (she was amaze balls, btw) had with the young soul #22. It was basically reverse psychology on a 12 year old, which yes, 100% works 100% of the time on 100% of middle schoolers. #lifehack
3. I thought the “in the zone” concept was so deep! They showed a scene where people that were “in the zone” sort of floated into the “soul world” but they were just moments away from becoming an obsession monster (not the actual term, but how I remember it). Unfortunately, I think a lot of musicians end up flirting between the two places all the time! I know no one asked, but in my personal opinion, if you meet somebody who starts justifying their selfish actions using the words “but that’s what I’m passionate about” they’ve already crossed the line. Welcome to the dark side.
4. I genuinely hope that this blue glowing animation is exactly what our souls look like in heaven. cuzzzz THEY CUTE.
5. As heart breaking as it was….having Joe Gardner (main character) realize that his whole life basically amounted to nothing because all he did was wait for something better to come along instead of living in the moment, was probably the best moment in the film. BUT ALSO it was like at minute 30 so that was weird.

Final thoughts on the movie: it is NOT what I had expected. Legit thought this was going to be about a music teacher in heaven. NOPE. However, it’s very insightful, very moving, and extremely entertaining. 2 thumbs way up.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

I know, I know, I’m late to the ship, again. But can I just say this: I HATE when movie trailers don’t do the actual movie justice! And I mean that in both directions – I hate when movie trailers aren’t as good as the movie (i.e. “Onward”) but I also hate it when the trailers make the movie seem better than it actually is (i.e. every Christmas movie on Netflix). I remember a bunch of my friends saying that “Onward” was SO GOOD, but I also heard that same review for “Brave” and “Cars 2” and I was less than impressed with both of those…sorry not sorry.

HOWEVER, I ended up watching this movie twice within a 48 hour period, which is something I haven’t done since the 3rd grade when I watched “Mulan” everyday for a week. This one’s gonna be a rave, so instead of going off in paragraph form, imma do my usual thing and give you a list. Bon Apetit:

Reasons to watch “Onward”:

1. Every single person with a sibling can relate to the “I can’t believe how embarrassing it is that I’m related to you feeling”. And if you have NEVER felt that feeling it’s because YOU were the embarrassing one. It’s just like that saying in college: “Everyone has a weird roommate, and if you didn’t, it was you.” Because of this super fun fact about life, this brother dynamic is all too accurate and also incredibly heartwarming.
2. This Elf Mom is quite frankly the DOPEST mom ever to be committed to an animated film. Not only is she a friggin Mighty Ass Warrior, but she is so supportive of her kids using magic to bring back their deceased father, aka her late husband, that I honestly think she needs to be nominated for an Oscar. How freaking chill do you need to be to encourage your boys to see their dad AND still communicate well with your also (oddly) chill boyfriend, Mr. Fabio Police Centaur Man.
3. Chris Pratt. Need I say more.
4. The names in this movie were absolute perfection. Guinevere is hands down the best name for a van. Corey the Manticore….brilliant. And Barley and Ian is like Bert and Ernie 2.0. AMAZEBALLS.
5. Without spoiling this movie too much, the scene where Ian sits on the cliff with the bottom half of his dad and starts looking at his list, was quite honestly the most moving animated scene I’ve watched since the furnace scene in Toy Story 3. IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.

Long story short, if you have a sibling, a mom, a dad, a board game, a van, and/or a manticore, I HIGHLY suggest you watch this movie. It can ONLY make your day better. I promise.

Truthfully Yours

PFP

Has anyone else fallen prey to all the chess hype that’s happened ever since “The Queen’s Gambit” has been featured on Netflix? CUZ I HAVE.

In all honesty, I usually equated people who played chess to the people who played Dungeons and Dragons…but LET ME TELL YOU, these chess players are crazy ridiculous super intense. Also, their brains must look like one of those 8×8 Rubik’s cubes that no one can actually solve cuz it’s impossible.

I have a few pet peeves about this movie so I’ll start and end with those. The only positive comment I’ll make is that I loved seeing Laurence Fishburne as a NOT Morpheus. Quite refreshing. Alright, onto the little annoyances in this film:

1) I cannot stand it when a movie title just doesn’t make sense. Yes, okay, I get that after I’ve seen the film that they are “searching” for the next “Bobby Fischer” and that there’s also a pseudo plot going on of “where did Bobby Fischer go?” BUT if you title a movie “Searching for a famous person”, I’m gonna expect that the movie is about said famous person. NOPE. It’s about a completely different kid that’s good at chess….LIKE Bobby Fischer. And also, nobody was actually “searching” for him. This kid’s dad aggressively sought after a coach who happened to have taught Bobby Fischer. Please get a new title for this film.

2) CHESS PARENTS NEED TO CHILL.

3) I wish that this chess movie would explain a little more about chess. Yea I get that at a certain point you can’t teach the audience how to play, but a little chess strategy would have gone a long way. The only thing I learned was to not bring out your Queen too early….unless you’re in a championship game, then do it, use a pawn to get your queen back and then win. right?

4) The certificate scene was too much. If you haven’t seen the movie, there’s a scene in which the chess coach has told the young talented not-Bobby-Fischer that he needs to earn these Master points to get a Chess Master certificate. THEN halfway through the movie the coach gets frustrated with the kid cause all he cares about are the points (as any competitive 7 year old would) and so the coach starts throwing the certificates everywhere saying they don’t matter and that his points don’t matter and that nothing matters except for the art of the game of chess. It was very aggressive and very uncomfortable and that poor boy just needed some dang points and this horrible coach just killed all the happiness in this movie.

5) I would like to see a movie about competitive checkers.

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns

This movie wasn’t bad, but it was just not fun to watch. The little kid didn’t even seem to like playing chess and all the adults in this film need to take parenting lessons. Except for the mom. She was great. Basically, if you were addicted to “The Queen’s Gambit” like me, just go play chess instead of watch this movie.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

Not gonna lie, I was pretty excited that Netflix came out with a California themed Christmas movie. Not that I don’t like snow and white Christmases or big puffy jackets, but I was looking forward to a movie that resembled what my Christmases look like: sunny, clear skies, and Christmas lights on palm trees.

To that end, this movie totally delivered. In other regards (like storyline, characters, and script) this movie was basically a combination of “Hope Floats”, “New In Town”, and “She’s the Man” with a sprinkling of “The Prince and Me”. Spoiler Alert: this movie summed into one sentence goes like this: Rich boy needs farm girl to sell her farm to him, so he pretends to be a farm hand to trick her, they fall in love, he gets caught but chooses to not buy her farm and she very quickly forgives him and they kiss.

Yes this summary doesn’t include the fighting or the romancing or the unfortunate back story to our beloved farm girl, but that’s for you to see and for me to keep out of this review.

Even though it was incredibly predictable and the plot has a very “been there done that” chick flick feel to it, here are a few things I loved about it:

1) I LOVE the fact that the two main characters are husband and wife. Yes, they are married, NOT brother and sister- I googled it. Even though it’s a bit unfair that they didn’t have to act incredibly hard to be in love, is there anything better than watching a real couple be a real couple on screen? John Krasinksi and Emily Blunt. Enough said.

2) I am all about a strong mom, fun sister, and independent woman dynamic, so this movie ticked all those boxes for me!

3) I genuinely love seeing pretty men struggle to do manual labor. Even if they are just acting. It’s super satisfying and I can watch that ALL DAY.

4) Finally, (another spoiler) I’m so glad the mom didn’t die!!! Ugh. I hate when movies just get sad for no reason. So I’m super glad that (even though she is sick the whole movie), she didn’t actually die at the end. It would have been too much and completely unnecessary. Way to have self control, Hollywood!

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns

Most definitely one of the best Christmas Netflix films out there. It’s got some humor, lots of intrigue, and classic, reliable, predictable and oh so satisfying romance. Snaps for Netflix.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP