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The Program

Is anyone else out there OBSESSED with the Lance Armstrong story? I seriously can’t get enough. And lucky for me there’s about 700 movies about Lance. Here’s what’s out there:

-30 For 30 on ESPN (4 hours of Lance)

-The Program (2 hour Netflix Movie of Lance)

-The Armstrong Lie (2 hour Movie of Lance)

-Stop At Nothing: The Lance Armstrong Story (2 hour Documentary of Lance)

Amazon.com: Watch The Program | Prime Video

Now, I’ve only seen the first 2 so I’ve clocked 6 hours of Lance Armstrong, but let me tell you – he’s addicting! If you know his story well then you’ll know how intriguing every single one of these movies/documentaries are. If you don’t know his story, let me summarize it for you (and if you think this is a spoiler then you’ve been living under a rock for 7 years because this crap hit the fan in 2013 and it’s gone to hell in a hand basket ever since)!

Lance’s life summarized:

-Born 1971

-Started swimming 1983, age 12

-Started triathlons 1986, age 15

-Lied about age to compete in triathlons, still age 15

-Started winning triathlons, but decided to focus on cycling in 1992, age 21 (low key started doping)

-In 1993 he won the World Championship in cycling, but had a hard time winning other European races (wasn’t doping enough, apparently)

-Continued cycling and doping through 1996, got diagnosed with advanced testicular cancer

-Fought cancer (definitely deserves kudos here), and got back on the bike 1997

-Started using EPO and blood transfusions to dope instead of just cortizone, testosterone and growth hormones (cause that clearly doesn’t sound like enough things to put in your body AFTER cancer)

-Won 7 Tour De Frances (which is literally insane) 1998-2005

-Repeatedly denied doping on television and in countless interviews. Some of his cyclist friends started to tattle on him, but because Lance was rich and a bully, he basically called them liars and then proceeded to ruin their lives.

-Retired from cycling after his 7th Tour win (2005)

-Took a few years off to focus on family and his foundation, Livestrong (this is actually a great foundation), and then got bored and arrogant and entered back into the cycling scene

-Continued to bully people and deny doping claims until….SUDDENLY! One of his old disgruntled cycling teammates (who had been caught doping), wrote a GIGANTIC email to the press detailing Lance’s doping history (the devil was in the details, let me tell you).

-Fast forward to 2013 – Lance has had multiple lawsuits with friends and journalists and other people who are all trying to rat him out. AND THEN. Out of the blue. He calls OPRAH. OH-PRAH!! And confesses EVERYTHING in a private interview. He confesses to doping, he confesses to ALL the drugs, he confesses to lying for years, and he confesses to not really feeling THAT bad!! YOU GUYS. IS THAT NOT ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING?!? Could you even imagine getting caught in that many lies?! It’s seriously amazing. And he almost got away with it too! If he hadn’t been arrogant after retiring, he could have died a hero. A HERO I TELL YOU.

-But now….everyone hates him. He’s a liar. He’s a cheater. He has very few friends. And his poor kids definitely need to change their last name. And move. And never ride a bike.

Basically, the movie “The Program” paints you this timeline in a very dramatic way and has the protagonist being a sports writer for Sunday Times. It’s very informative, super good acting, and ultimately, the craziest sports story to ever be witnessed on television. I also highly recommend “30 For 30 on Lance Armstrong”, because he, personally, gives interviews in 2019 (6 years after the major explosion), and his lack of remorse is INSANE. I just find people who are that apathetic to be crazy, thus…I must know more.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns

Don’t get me wrong. I think Lance Armstrong is a pretty terrible person, but I find his ability to lie to the world for 15 years VERY binge worthy!

PS – His foundation, Livestrong, is actually fabulous and I think that’s the only reason he hasn’t been swallowed up by the earth yet. Please continue to donate. K thx.

Best

PFP

Parasite

I don’t understand why this movie won so many awards. Sure, it’s slightly disturbing, and yes, it leaves you thinking about it for days after…but quite frankly so does “Donnie Darko” and I didn’t see that movie win anything at the Oscars in 2001.

To hear my full thoughts on this apparently “amazing” film, here’s my youtube review. Enjoy.

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns

Little Women (2019)

I am such a huge fan of this movie! I went in with a real excitement to be disappointed but instead I left without any mascara left on my face and my heart full of love for Timothee Chalamet. If you haven’t seen the Winona Ryder version then please go do that and also WHAT WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD?

Full review is below:

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns.

Sincerely Yours,

PFP

Falling Inn Love

I do not have a brilliant enough vocabulary to truly explain how terrible this movie is. If this movie was a candy, it would be the earwax flavor of Jelly Beans.

Popcorn Rating: 1 burnt kernel

Here’s the video with all my thoughts, which are not that many because this film was not worth my time.