Inner dialogue BEFORE the movie started:

-“This title is dumb.”

-“Spider-verse? omg. This is going to be a stupid movie.”

-“I should not have paid money for this.”

-“Man, I can’t even vaguely remember the preview for this film.”

-“Is this actually a comic book or did someone make this one up? Ugh. Too many comics. Can’t keep track.”

Inner dialogue DURING the movie:

-“My eyes are literally watering why is this so blurry?”

-“Is this a 3D movie? How did I miss the glasses?”

-“Yea. Still super blurry.”

-“NOOOOO. PLEASE. NO. I CAN’T TAKE ANOTHER AWKWARD LOVE STORY. PLEASE. I just started liking this main character – TAKE THE GIRL AWAY I’M BEGGING YOU!”

-“Oh praise. She’s from a different dimension. Can’t get too serious.”

-“Bless, this dad right now. small tear….”

-“Why is this villain so fat. like so. fat. not even why. more like how?? HOW is this villain so fat!?”

-“Is that Nicolas Cage?”

-“No way. The Uncle!! #plottwist #familydrama #starwars”

-“Ooooo the black suit is DOPE. (is dope still trendy…)”

-“So. Many. Things. HAPPENING!!” *fighting* *kicking* *pretty colors* *fighting*

-“Awwwww. That was precious.”

Outward dialogue after the movie:

-“I mean, I guess for a weird comic book animated movie it was fine.”

Inner dialogue after the movie:

“Wow, that was fantastic and I definitely cried at least twice. How long is this in theaters for? Is it weird to still go to the movies by yourself? Probably not if you go during the week, I’d assume. Cool.”

Popcorn Rating: 4 blurry popped corns

This movie was NOT what I had thought it would be, and it was way more funny and touching than I had expected. I laughed, I cried, and I think I was cross-eyed for most of the beginning, but it’s fine. I highly recommend all fathers and sons to schedule a special outing to see this film. Mothers and daughters you can go to, but there’s not enough over-analyzing or passive aggressiveness for it to actually be relatable. Super thrilled that the Hollywood animation game is still going strong.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP