Creed II

Well Hello Michael B. Jordan’s shoulders!

If that picture alone doesn’t get your butt off the couch and running to a Redbox, then you don’t deserve to watch this movie!

Now, I know some people might call me crazy, but the ‘Rocky’ empire was slowly but surely turning into the ‘Land Before Time’ empire….aka too many films, not enough plot. Yes, Sylvester, I just compared your film saga to that of an extinct dinosaur saga, but sometimes the truth hurts. Lucky for you though, MBJ brought it back in a really big way.

Here’s what I think you need to know about this film:

  1. Sylvester Stallone talks at an all time glacial pace. Having the patience of a saint to listen to his lines is an understatement, but hey, you gotta take the good with the bad.
  2. Florian Munteanu plays Creed’s rival and is actually a Romanian fighter IRL. However, in this movie he plays a Russian fighter who trains in Ukraine and I love how those are all basically interchangeable countries to us highly educated Americans. They could have thrown in a Bulgarian half-sister and a Moldavian dog and we wouldn’t have batted an eye. IT’S ALL THE SAME OVER HERE. THANKS HOLLYWOOD.
  3. The main lesson I learned from this movie is that if you want to get fit, go to a gym. But if you want to get tough and destroy a Transylvanian fighter – you must work out in the desert with no water or clean equipment.
  4. Literally can’t get over how slow Sylvester talked. Need to make it another point.
  5. {Spoiler Alert} As much as I love the added emotional layer of Creed’s girlfriend getting pregnant – it just added a new distraction tbh. Also, it raised SO many babysitting questions. Not sure if anyone else noticed this, but in his final fight scene the girlfriend is there, the mother is there, and Sylvester is there – SO WHO IS WATCHING THE BABY! That baby is like 3 months old – you can’t just leave that with a teenager! Plus, they’re in Russia/Ukraine/Romania/Turkey/Whatever – what teenager do you know out there? I don’t think there’s a Care.com in Russia you can use. Hollywood, don’t add babies into these movies if you aren’t willing to go through the trouble of answering my Day Care questions! It’s rude.
  6. The ending of this movie is awesome and yet also incredibly predictable. But then again, if they were able to make 5 Rocky movies and we’re currently on Creed 2 – you can assume Creed ain’t dyin’ or losin’ big anytime soon.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns and a kernel for MBJ’s shoulders

Welp, there you have it. Didn’t have too many complaints about this one. Highly recommend to watch with your dad or a distant brother if you need something to bond over without any talking involved. Also a great motivator if you want to work out in the dirt but can’t get yourself out there – this just might!

Sincerely,

PFP

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