MIND BLOWN.

This is the second time I’ve watched this movie and let me tell you – IT’S INSANE. The first time I watched it I don’t think half of the information got through to me. I remember thinking “whoa, that was crazy!” But this second time around I was like “My brain hurts. What just happened. I need to watch this ten more times!”

In case you haven’t seen this life-changing film, it’s about two rival magicians who constantly try to outdo each other with their masterpiece magic trick “The transported man”. When you think one magician has ultimately outsmarted the other, a twist happens and you go back to square one of being totally and ultimately confused! But it’s a fantastic kind of confused, like the Vertigo kind of confused where you keep trying to figure out what’s going on and every time you convince yourself you’re on the right track, a new fact comes to light and you are just as lost as you were before you came up with your ironclad plan! I know it might sound crazy, but I love that feeling. I mean, I hate it in the moment because I feel like an idiot, but after the movie’s over and my brain feels like it just went through an SAT prep class, it feels pretty great! Highly recommend. 

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns with 2 magical kernels

Don’t watch if you’re tired and/or afraid of magicians, black cats, or drowning. 

Best,

PFP 

I have a list. It’s called “movie-related elements that can be found in a movie that will make it go from good to great”. I know, long title, but effective list. Now it is not very often that a film checks off multiple boxes on this list. In fact, the only movie that really knocks it out of the park is the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. However, Hidden Figures checks off a solid 5 and that is truly commendable (the whole list can be found on the page called “PFP’s Good to Great List”): 

1) A bumpin’ soundtrack 

2) Kevin Costner/Tom Hanks/Denzel Washington/Chris Pine/Colin Firth/Robert Redford 

3) Strong females that rock the crap out of math and/or science and/or athletics 

4) Racial and/or societal tension that results in the minority/oppressed showing how incredibly gifted they are as a race/culture/societal group 

5) Southern/British/Australian accents 

*the bold words are the ones related to Hidden Figures 

This movie is really fantastic! I know that from watching the preview you might assume that it’ll be just like Remember the Titans subbing math for football, but it’s So. Much. More! This movie is so incredibly groundbreaking- it gives me chills just thinking about it! These three women, who are real people btw (based on a true story), went from being worker-bees to becoming integral employees of NASA, society, and history! It is one of the best civil rights movies I have ever seen! You leave the theater feeling empowered, satisfied, and so proud to have learned about these wonderful women’s lives! It is a must-see and you will be floored at the boldness, strength, and intellect of Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson. 

Popcorn Rating: 5 popped corns 

You cannot go wrong with watching this movie! Again – see PFP Good to Great list. You can watch this on a date, with your mom, with your dad, with your grandparents, and by yourself! How many movies out there can appeal to those many combinations of audiences? Trust me, not many. GO. RENT. NOW. 

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

Wow this movie is actually the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen. You know that feeling when you drop your phone and it’s mid-fall and your stomach goes up into your throat and you can’t breathe because you don’t know how hard you need to cry yet so you just bottle up everything just in case? It’s that feeling for 2.5 hours. 

I definitely get why this movie won so many awards, and for sure Casey Affleck deserved Best Actor in this movie, but in the same breath…..it’s depressing AF! Casey plays a lost, depressed, unpredictable version of Eeyore that makes this movie super hard to watch. If you happen to be in a good mood when you start this movie, you will for sure finish it feeling sad and lost. If you happen to feel sad and lost when you start this movie, you will for sure find Casey’s life to be more sad and lost than yours and you might actually feel better. 

I don’t want to give away the plot/main depressing part of this movie, so here’s the summary of this movie in a nutshell without giving away any details. 

Act I: Something really sad happens in Casey’s family and he has to go back to the small town he grew up in to deal with it. 

Act II: When Casey’s in his hometown he has to deal with REALLY sad memories he has there.

Act III: After dealing with the sad thing in his family, he can’t handle the sad memories of his hometown so he has to drop the one good thing in his life and cause more sadness to his family. 

Moral of the story: EVERYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH CASEY IS SAD AND HE JUST NEEDS A HUG

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns

To be honest, it’s just too sad to recommend. However, Casey does an amazing acting job, so maybe watch for Casey? I don’t know! It’s just so sad!! 

Sadly

PFP

If you haven’t seen this movie, I have provided a checklist to see if you will enjoy it. If you answer “yes” to all of them, then go ahead and rent away!

1) Do you have the patience to sit for 3 hours? 

2) Did you see Disney’s Pocahontas? 

3) Did you like Disney’s Pocahontas? 

4) Did you see Dancing With Wolves? 

5) Did you like Dancing With Wolves? 

6) Did you see How to Train Your Dragon? 

7) Did you like How to Train Your Dragon? 

8) Do you find Sam Worthington attractive? 

Congrats! You completed the checklist. Will this movie be worth the rental fee? That is for you to decide. However, in my personal opinion, this movie is totally worth the 3 hours! I LOVE all the movies listed above and never get tired of the “foreign man learning about a new culture and falling in love with the cheif’s daughter and then choosing the new culture over his original culture” plot. I just can’t get enough!! Not sure if it’s because the plot all on its own is riveting or if it’s because I’m secretly hoping to open up my closet and find my own kind of Narnia where I can become queen and learn to fly a dragon. But that’s neither here nor there. 

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns 

I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. Sam is pretty sexy as a giant blue man, and some of the one liners in this movie are to die! 

Kind Regards

PFP 

How embarrassing is it that this is one of my favorite movies of all time? Really embarrassing? Sweet. 

I know the plot and moral of the story is terrible. (Spoiler Alert) The summary of this film is basically that Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood get away with having an affair for 3 days. Meryl’s kids don’t find that she had this deep love affair with Clint until Meryl passes away, and her kids are so shocked at how much she loved Clint that they decided to write a book about it. 

I know, I know, it’s not the most ethical movie to like. However, here is my somewhat twisted reasoning for why I love this movie – you literally can’t lose! Usually in love affair movies you finish the movie feeling like a terrible person because you were rooting for the cheater. Like in “He’s Just Not That Into You” everyone is #teambradley and life is hard. 

But in this movie, you start off being #teamclint until Meryl starts thinking about her kids. Then you switch to #teamhusband, but then you realize he’s kind of a sad farm man and then you become #teammeryl and before you know it, the movie’s over and you’re just glad no one got angry! 

The movie ends with Meryl and Clint having three days of pure bliss and then Meryl getting a reality check and choosing her family over her passionate love for a photographer. ALL THE BOXES GET CHECKED! That small part of you that wanted Meryl to be with Clint was satisfied because an hour of this film was dedicated to the romance, but your conscious feels great because she stayed with her husband and did it for the kids!! Way to go Meryl!! We’ll just quickly skip over the fact that you were incredibly unfaithful for three days…

Now I’m not saying you need to like this movie, or that it should be ranked high in your personal movie list. I just wanted to share my thoughts on this film and hope that no one judges! 

Side note before you decide whether to watch this or not: Meryl’s acting is superb, Clint is a FOX, and the bridges of Madison County are quite beautiful!! Just food for thought. 

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns for personal reasons, absolutely nothing cinematic 

Yours truly,

PFP

“Band Aid” is one of those movies where the preview spoiled 90% of the funniest parts of the film. On top of that, it’s very similar to “500 Days of Summer” in that you are pretty miserable and frustrated the whole movie and then the last scene makes you go “aw, that’s cute” but then the credits role and you find yourself thinking, “Wait! What? It’s over? That’s it? We just assume it continues to go well? Cause the last hour and half could serve as evidence against that! History repeats itself, ya know? I don’t know what to believe.”

First off, if you have recently been in a relationship or are currently in a relationship where fighting and arguing about small things played and/or still play a large part in your relationship, then I suggest passing on this film. You will get major PTSD if you just got out of a “fighting” relationship. Likewise, even if you’re “over it”, a small part of you is going to cringe when you hear this couple fight about the dishes. Something goes off! I don’t know what it is, but the fighting in this movie is so real that you start to feel like you need to pick a side! And then once you pick a side, you’re now emotionally involved, and now that you’re emotionally involved, you start getting annoyed at everyone, and then you just want the person next to you to stop eating popcorn so loudly, and eventually you just hope they throw the first punch so you can let them have it!!….ok maybe that’s just me, but this movie changes you, trust me.

Secondly, this film is like 92% fighting, 7% shoving it under the rug, and 1% resolution. So if you are watching this movie to come up with a way to fix your relationship (like what the title low-key implies), get ready for a let down. You’re better off watching “Moana” to learn about resolving conflict – get on a boat, find a Demi-God, and put someone’s heart back.

Finally, my biggest frustration with the movie was that it couldn’t decide on what genre it wanted to be in. At times, this movie seemed liked it was attempting to be a comedy, other times, a tragedy, and even sometimes a drama. By the end of it I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry. Is it funny that couples can fight so aggressively over the smallest thing? Or should I be upset because they are literally being so aggressive right now? I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL!

Overall, this movie was sad, frustrating, and pretty hard to watch. The never-ending fighting and constant inability to resolve anything as adults puts this movie near the bottom for me.

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns, 1 kernel

If you’re single and you watch this movie – you’ll feel great about life.

Best,

PFP

Ok, I know I’m like 7 years late, but HOLY CRAP THIS MOVIE. 

I didn’t know whether I should have felt super depressed at the end or really thankful that it was finally over. How is ballet still a thing?!? Is this movie “based on potentially real events”? Why hasn’t every mom pulled their kid out of this violent extra-curricular? 

Now there were a lot of things about this movie that didn’t sit well with me: Natalie Portman’s mom, Natalie Portman’s coach, and Natalie Portman. But the most heinous crime committed in this movie had to be Natalie’s inconsistent, back-spreading, bubonic-like rash!! What is going on? Was it really necessary to make her evil inner personality be resembled outwardly as a BACK RASH!? Come on people! What happened to good old fashioned red eyes or weird horns? A rash? Really? So gross. 

To sum up this movie (in case you haven’t seen it these 7 years it’s been out): it’s about a shy, neurotic ballet dancer that gets cast as the lead in Swan Lake meaning she has to play both the pretty white swan and the evil black swan. However, her personality is not evil or seductive so her coach gets mad and basically gives her a major inferiority complex. She gets crazy jealous and paranoid about everyone and everything and has weird sex dreams about Mila Kunis and then ultimately (spoiler alert) accidentally kills herself. This was hands down the most bizarre ending to the most bizarre film I’ve ever seen.

Not sure who came up with this film pitch, but they seriously need to chill with the rashes and the stabbings. Those are two very gruesome things that ballet movies really shouldn’t be promoting. 

Popcorn Rating: 2 popped corns

I really do love Natalie and Mila, but watching them in this movie is like seeing the calorie amount at the Cheesecake Factory: disturbing and depressing. 

Keepin’ it real,

PFP

I’m sorry, but did anyone actually get this movie? Like what was the point of this film? I guess there could be something “cool” about creating a new kind of “alien” movie, but uh, not sure AT ALL what made this “alien” movie “cool” #airquotes. 

Here’s what Arrival “taught” me: 

1) Aliens could be seven legged octopi 

2) Aliens could speak in grumblings and use circular pictures to write words

3) If and when aliens come, china will be the first to attack them. 

4) Being a Linguistic professor apparently means you can speak to aliens using said circular picture writing language 

5) Not wearing a protective outfit and helmet is a good idea when in a new space-altering environment, even though NASA says otherwise

6) Seeing the future is apparently a “gift”. Though everything about this movie really made it seem like a curse. 

7) Jeremy Renner makes a terrible nerd. Who is he trying to fool? We know Hawkeye’s really underneath those cargo pants. You ain’t pullin a fast one over me, Jer.

Ultimately this movie’s plot was super sad and confusing. If it ended happily then maybe, just maybe, all the other super crazy things would be worth making sense over, but this movie was straight up depressing. No me gusta. 

Popcorn Rating: 1 popped corn and 1 kernel for Hawkeye

Adios,

PFP

YASSSSSSSS!!!!! This movie is my JAM! First off, it finally depicts women’s hair at the beach semi-accurately. Everyone always thinks that when women jump into the ocean and whip their hair out, that it’ll look like Ariel’s red luscious locks or Jasmine’s ridiculously volumous (yes that’s a word) waves! This is not a drill! Real ocean hair is sticky, sandy, knotty, and literally never looks good. Props to Moana for keeping ocean hair REAL! Only took animators 90 years to get it right, nice job! 

Second, I love this movie because a mute chicken has a lead role. Meaning there’s a place in a movie for everyone. Thirdly, the ocean is a real character! It nods, saves people, and reveals pretty shells on command! CAN THIS MOVIE GET ANY BETTER?!

Actually it can. But it’s just these two itty-bitty things that would change this movie from a great film to a Masterpiece: 1) Don’t have Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson sing and 2) Don’t have Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson sing. 

Popcorn Rating: 5 popped corns
If you haven’t seen this movie yet you probably don’t have siblings and/or live under a rock. Watch this movie and enjoy the Pacific Islander version of a fantastic Disney/Pixar non-princess animated classic!! 

You’re welcome!

PFP 

I’m gonna state some facts real quick and then I’ll let you know my thoughts on this movie. The facts will help you determine whether you’ll agree with my review, but ultimately these are facts, so, you should agree with me anyway.

Fact: Benedict Cumberbatch is one of the best actors out there – Sherlock blows my mind. You all need to watch Sherlock (BBC).

Fact: I don’t have a great relationship with Marvel. It’sbeen very on-again off-again, and currently we’re in off-again mode, and I don’t foresee an on-again anytime soon.

Fact: Magic coming from a wand or a staff or a glass ball is palatable. Magic coming from hands….not so much. It might be because it takes me back to my Mathilda days….not a great time. Tried to open a lot of doors by just staring at them. Did not make a lot of friends that year.

Fact: Movies that don’t make sense don’t get great reviews.

Facts are done. It’s review time now!

I know it’s hard to believe based on the above information, but I did not like this movie. I don’t think I’ve ever asked “what is happening?” so many times in one movie. Let me be clear, this is not because I couldn’t follow the basic plot of a comic movie, this is because what was happening on screen was the most bizarre, inexplainable, ridiculous stuff I’ve ever seen. Here’s a small snippet from my brain of the first ten minutes of the film:

“ok, these cloaks are weird, but I can see this being cool somewhere. wait, are they in a library? Is that a librarian? Are all future librarians that hard of hearing? How did he not hear a clan of people trotting in like that? Also, does the evil guy always have to be ugly? Can you cast one James Dean these days? yikes. Whoa, what the? Is that fire string? Where did that come from? Ok so you want me to believe that they ALL just happen to have matching fire whips coming out of their arms? wait, this guy also has other hand powers? Ugh if this is another Darth Vader concept I’m out. Ok cool. librarian’s dead. wait, are these the good guys? who am I supposed to get attached to? am I happy they have the book? was that book really worth killing someone with fire-y string for? who’s team am I on? Where’s Benedict!?”

This movie quickly goes from a Mathilda sequel into the Inception movie, then takes a left turn at Karate Kid, a right turn at the Matrix, and ends on Prisoner of Azkaban street. It’s straight up ridiculous.

However, I will say that the end of the movie is quite interesting. Benedict finds quite a good loophole in the super weird solar system that you somehow seem to accept by the end of the film. Unfortunately, by the time things finally got interesting I had already decided this movie was nuts and didn’t really pay much attention after the first electric/fire hand thing happened. Ultimately this movie just allowed me to consume my weight in popcorn and kept my relationship with Marvel at bay.

Popcorn Rating: 2 popped corns, sorry Bennie

If you want to watch a movie that makes you ask yourself around 300 questions before the film’s over – go for this one! You’ll be pleased.

-PFP