Wow. Theo James. I didn’t realize that knife throwing was an attribute I find INCREDIBLY attractive. Talk about a man making literally everything seem sexy. Train jumping, capture the flag, back tattoos, you name it, if Theo James did it in this movie, it was sexy. 

Now this movie is one of my faves for a myriad of reasons. Reasons 1 and 2 being Theo James and Theo James. However reasons 3-5 I believe are also worth mentioning, so here goes. 

Third reason as to why Divergent is a must-see: this movie divides the world into “factions” they have fancy names in the movie, but it’s basically the dangerous/cool ones, the political/annoying ones, the helpful/useless ones, the judge-y/arrogant ones, and the peaceful/second useless ones. As you could probably guess, Theo’s character is in the dangerous/cool faction and that is also the faction that Shailene Woodley’s character is attempting to be accepted into. At a certain point in your teenage life, you pick a faction to be in, but if you pick the dangerous faction, you have to pass a series of tests to get accepted otherwise you become faction-less aka homeless. Since I am a lover of lists which in turn makes me a lover of categories, I am a major fan of this faction concept (in a movie, not IRL- just to clarify). 

Fourth reason this is my fave movie is because it literally takes 3 seconds and no pain to get a tattoo!! You pick your image, they place a stencil on your body, you wait for three seconds and it gets zapped onto your body permanently. What college is working on this project? Let me know if you need volunteers. 

Finally, this movie is the best because it combines the concept of “He’s Just Not That Into You” with the dream world of “Inception” with characters from “Rebel Without A Cause” and “Titanic”. Bear with me while I explain my quad-movie comparison analysis. 

In “He’s Just Not That Into You” the moral of the story is that everyone is “the rule” in regards to dating, but in the end Ginnifer Goodwin ends up being the “exception” for Justin Long, basically negating the entire lesson of the movie. Similarly, this movie is about how everyone should fit into factions, but ultimately it’s best to be Divergent, meaning you have a combo of all 5. The “Inception” aspect of this movie is quite obvious. One of the tests they have to pass to get into the dangerous faction is to conquer your fears in your dreams, therefore there’s a lot of Inception-like scenes in the dream sequences. Theo James is basically James Dean from “Rebel Without a Cause” but with a better body. And this movie has Kate Winslet in it, so obviously “Titanic”. 

Popcorn Rating: 5 popped corns 

My final words to you on this film: Theo James.

Best

PFP 

This movie contains my absolute favorite scene in a movie EVER. Also, it’s not so much a scene as it is just a fantastic cinematic slow motion view of Heath Ledger. HANDS DOWN best editing job I’ve ever seen. Let me just set the scene in case you haven’t seen it, and if you have, you know I’m totally right.

Opening:

3 poorly dressed, drabby young men have cloth up their noses because their boss, who was a Knight, is dead in his armor and smells. You quickly find out that this (dead) Knight was a jouster and still has one round left to joust in. One of the poorly dressed young men, aka squire (Heath Ledger) decides to put on said dead man’s armor and pretends to be a Knight so he can complete the last joust. If he is able to stay on the horse, he will win the trophy. Heath Ledger jousts in the round and is able to stay on his horse and wins! They sell the trophy and decide to split the earnings. However, Heath has this great idea of using the money to buy proper equipment and train to become a real Knight and joust instead of split it up. His friends are hesitant, but give in because Heath is adorable.

Scene 2:

After much training (insert Jousting montage here), Heath is ready to compete, and be a pretend Knight so he can win money and “change his stars” – a theme throughout this film. Very cute, very cheesy. But now comes the scene you’ve all been waiting for….Heath Ledger, fresh hair cut, no facial hair, in tip top Jousting shape, riding on a horse on a dirt road. Talk about dreams coming true! Here is a freeze frame of my favorite scene of all time:

Now I know you might be thinking “this is kind of blurry” and “it’s not even a full body shot”, but TRUST ME, after watching Heath Ledger look like a homeless person for the first 20 minutes of this film (see picture below), you are overjoyed at his groomed, beautiful, horse riding transformation.

One other fabulous aspect of this movie is that it takes place in the Medieval Times (roughly 14th-15th centuries according to Google), but the soundtrack to this film is hard rock! It’s incredible. Very similar to the newest Great Gatsby with Leonardo DeCaprio (hated the movie (see review)) the movie took place in the 20’s but the soundtrack was filled with Jay-Z and Lana Del Rey. The soundtrack was literally the only positive aspect of this film. Anyhow, A Knight’s Tale does the same thing: uses contemporary music to support an extremely old period piece.

Popcorn Rating: 5 popped corns

I highly recommend this movie to anyone that finds Heath Ledger attractive and/or enjoys a romantic comedy with jousting and medieval dancing. To be honest, you can’t go wrong with this movie. It’s perfect and everyone needs to watch it.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP

This movie is darn near perfection. It is type casting at its finest! Let me show you: 

Exhibit A: Ryan Gosling plays a super good looking, womanizer with a tender heart who falls for a quirky girl. 

Exhibit B: Steve Carrell is the awkward divorcée with a great personality but no fashion sense. 

Exhibit C: Emma Stone is the quirky girl that just needed a bad boy to help her embrace her true beauty. 

Exhibit D: Kevin Bacon is sleezy adulterer who is good looking but not good looking enough to justify his awful personality. 

Exhibit E: Asian best friend is the Asian best friend. 

Case and point. This movie has every actor playing his/her exact type cast role, and that’s what makes this movie nearly perfect. The “nearly” part is because it ends in the same way “Mean Girls” ends. The strings are all tied up but you’re not quite satisfied because it all worked out a little too well. I just felt like someone should have been alone at the end, otherwise it’s not really Crazy Stupid Love, ya know? Welp. Have to please the masses. You get your happy ending everyone! Congrats.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns, 2 kernels 

Again, this movie is pretty fantastic. I laughed out loud in theaters when I saw it and then laughed out loud again when I saw it a second time on the plane. A must-see if you like to watch Ryan, Steve, and Emma in their element. Plus the asian best friend does a decent job too. Oh and Josh Groban has a cameo in the movie! Man, should have led with that. That’s probably all you needed to know, huh? “Josh Groban’s in it!?!? Renting!!!”

Best,

PFP 

Think of a sad movie you’ve seen. Did it make you tear up a little? Or maybe it actually made you cry? Like it made you produce audible sobs. Can you think of one? Ok, now, imagine a movie that is so unbelievably sad that you uncontrollably WEEP *cue Steel Magnolias title screen*.

This movie is hands down the saddest movie I have ever seen, and I’ve seen Schindler’s List, Out of Africa, and Sophie’s Choice, so I know sad. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this movie. It’s one of my absolute favorite movies of all time. However, I can only watch this movie every few months and only when I need to bawl my eyes out. 

The main characters in this film are fantastic and hysterical. Two words: Dolly Parton. Two more words: Julia Roberts. Two more words: Sally Field. This movie is seriously TOO GOOD. It also has the best lines and I will share some of my favorites with you now:

1) “You are a boil on the butt of humanity.”

2) “I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.” 

3) “Well you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me.” 

4) “What’s wrong with you these days? You got a reindeer up your butt?”

Popcorn Rating: 5 popped corns 

Before you decide to change your life and watch this wonderful film, there’s a few ducks you’ll need to line up. 

-make sure to have Kleenex 

-watch this with friends/family/significant others (not a good movie to watch alone)

-don’t have plans later – this is a no make-up, waterworks kind of a film 

-whatever you do – DO NOT PAUSE THIS FILM. If you pause it, even to just go to the bathroom, you ruin the emotional build up that is necessary for you to get the ultimate crying level this movie provides. 

Happy Sobbing,

PFP 

First off, don’t judge me. I may or may not have watched this movie for the first time last week. Now, I know you’re thinking “omg she thinks she’s a movie person but she hasn’t even seen this classic?” I know, I know, but let me defend myself. My dad made me watch this movie when I was 8. I made it through the first scene, but when that guy got shish-kebabed after trying to steal that golden monkey, I was out…..and I’ve avoided this movie ever since. Now, obviously, I am older, wiser, stronger and a better person for it, but the PTSD was real and it’s taken me a couple decades to get over it.

Anywho, whether you’ve seen this movie recently, a while ago, or on repeat, here are my very fresh thoughts on this film (in case you haven’t noticed, I like lists). Enjoy:

1. The title is very misleading. Definitely thought they were looking for Noah’s lost Ark, but instead they were looking for a holy Ark box thing ….not a large ship. 

2. Harrison Ford needs to have higher standards for women – that girl is straight up annoying. I was stoked when I thought she had died in the back of that truck, but of course, she survived and had to be useless and helpless for the rest of the movie. Goodie.

3. The Disney ride makes SO much sense now.

4. I love the fact that Gimli and Hans Solo starred in this movie together. It was like watching two of my favorite worlds coming together in a desert. 

5. Ok. WHY WERE THERE SO MANY SNAKES?! I get that Indiana was afraid of them, so obviously Spielberg needed to throw a couple in there, but really, 5 million snakes? I can’t.  

6. After watching Wonder Woman (see review) and having studied World History in high school, I almost feel bad for the Germans because they are literally portrayed as the worst people in so many movies. Keyword was almost. I don’t feel bad. 

7. Lastly, where did he get that whip? Did he buy it on Amazon? From an antique store? Was it passed down to him from his father’s father? It seems very useful and I want one. 

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns 

I totally get why this movie is a classic. Harrison is lovely and the plot is very thrilling. I will need some time to process all those snakes, but after that, I’m definitely down to watch this again. Maybe even with my dad. 

Truthfully Yours

PFP 

This movie will make you cry. You will laugh so hard, you WILL cry. The three moms that are featured in this movie are so freaking hysterical – I cannot handle it. I’m not a mom, but this movie actually makes me want to have kids just so I can meet other moms like these.

A couple tips before you watch:

1) Don’t actually watch this with your mom – between the sexual innuendos, sexual commentary, and actual sex, it could get awkward

2) Make sure you have snacks. So. Many. Snacks. This movie makes you want nachos, whip cream, candy, frittatas, cereal, and wine. So have all of those available.

3) Definitely watch this if you’ve had a bad week – Mila Kunis’s life will make you feel SO much better about yourself!

4) If you’ve never seen Kathryn Hahn in a movie before, you will love her and you will want to watch her in another movie immediately so here’s your starter kit: “Win A Date With Tad Hamilton”, “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days”, and “Step Brothers”. You’re welcome.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns and 1 kernel

Please watch this movie. It’s so good. And I’m so excited Bad Moms Christmas is happening. GET READY.

Best,

PFP

I HAVE to talk about this movie! First off, every single high schooler in America should know this movie because at the end of sophomore year, once your paper has been turned in, every English teacher pops this sucker in as a reward for “getting through the book”. Congrats, you did it. Now here’s your last three months summed up in 2 hours. 

Now, up until 2013, every class watched the Robert Redford and Mia Farrow version of this film. In 2013 the teachers were faced with a dilemma – do we stick with tradition and show Robert in his pink tux? Or seem “hip and happenin'” and play the new Leo version? Decisions, decisions. Now if I were an English teacher, which, thank the lord, I’m not, I would have to 100% go with…..drumroll please….Robert Redford and his 1974 fashion!! Let me tell you why. 

First, Leonardo DiCaprio says “old sport” in the MOST uncomfortable manner. It’s similar to when Simon Cowell gives a compliment – it just doesn’t sound right or genuine. Second, Leo and Carey have as much chemistry as a chair and a bowl of soup. Thirdly, Tobey Maguire is one of my least favorite actors. I didn’t like him in any of the “Spidermans”, I didn’t like him in “Seabiscuit”, and I REALLY didn’t like him in “Brothers”. Three strikes, you’re out. Fourth, the wind in this movie is RI-DIC-U-LOUS. That scene where Daisy is sitting on the couch and all of her windows are open and the curtains are flying in the wind like she’s died and gone to heaven?! Are you for kidding me?? This is not real life. I promise you that if it was THAT windy in your room to where ALL your curtains flew up simultaneously- you are in a tornado and you best be hiding in a shelter. 

Lastly, in this version of Great Gatsby, you actually kind of like Tom! Maybe it’s because Tobey sucks and Leo and Carey are useless together, but by the end of this film I was totally #teamtom and I couldn’t believe it!! In the book, I hated Tom and in the 1974 film I hated Tom too, but in 2013….Tom straight up impressed me. He wasn’t super gross, he had a super nice townhouse for his mistress, and he dressed real nice. It’s not my fault Hollywood cast this movie so poorly! I was always #teamgatsby until I saw this film, so it’s not me, it’s the movie. 

Popcorn Rating: 2 popped corns 

The soundtrack is good, but that’s all. 

Sincerely

PFP

This movie definitely raises some important questions:

1. Where did Michael B. Jordan come from?
2. Is he single?
3. Do all boxers have those bodies?
4. Have I been missing out on this all my life?
5. How freaking old is Sylvester Stallone?

Can you just quickly look ^ at those arms for a second? WHAAAAAAAA. Un.Real. Quite frankly this movie was basically an hour and a half of watching Michael B. Jordan get ripped, and then 20 minutes of him boxing and getting the crap kicked out of him. In my humble opinion, I think this movie could have been a real treasure if they got rid of the boxing bits and just focused on Michael’s bod goals. But hey, I’m just the messenger – GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!

On a plot note, I did think it was pretty smart that they paid tribute to the first movie of this series “Rocky” by making the main character, Michael, the son of Rocky’s nemesis, Apollo Creed. What was even more brilliant was that they made Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) the coach of Apollo Creed’s son. Very full circle and very satisfying. HOWEVER, again, I have another thought that I think could have taken this movie to the next level: Imagine if Creed had a dog or cat or something and had named it…..Adrian!! How much better would this movie be?! SO MUCH BETTER is the correct answer. I truly believe that a “Rocky” movie without a single “Yo Adrian” isn’t be legit. Again, just the messenger.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns – all for Michael’s bod

Can’t get enough of those arms.

Best

PFP

Quick question for all you musical watchers out there: If you watch a musical and then go home and start listening to the soundtrack over and over again INSTEAD of ever going to watch the musical a second time….what does that say about the musical? Let me try it from another angle. If you go to a golf tournament and then go home and listen to soft clapping over and over again INSTEAD of ever watching another golf tournament….what does that say about the game of golf? Was that analogy helpful? Thought so.

Here’s my two cents on The Last Five Years: 1) the soundtrack is great 2) the songs are super fun and very difficult to sing (thank goodness they took time making the recording) and 3) the overall storyline is interesting, sad, and pretty spot on in terms of what one would expect of a young married couple that is “unevenly yoked”, if you will. However, the movie part of this musical almost makes this musical worse. Again, the music is great, the plot is intriguing, but man, the acting and awkward singing in underwear scenes – yes, I say scenes because there are many- it’s just not very fun to watch. In a nutshell, listen to the soundtrack, read the synopsis on IMDb and call it a day! 

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns but only for the soundtrack 

Anna Kendrick sings very well and Jeremy Jordan is my vocal man crush. But for the last time, listen. Do not watch. Like all Miley Cyrus music videos. 

Truthfully Yours

PFP

There are three reasons you need to watch this movie:

1) Sloths work at the DMV 

2) Shakira is a famous singing Gazelle 

3) SLOTHS WORK AT THE DMV 

This movie is super witty, really funny, but more than anything teaches a great lesson on how not to judge a book by its cover (or not to judge an animal by its “wild” past). Don’t worry, I’m not gonna get all high and mighty on you, but the underlying message of throwing away stereotypes makes this movie pretty awesome.

The two main characters are a fox and a bunny – the fox is trying to prove that he can be trustworthy even though “everyone knows foxes are sly”, and the bunny is trying to be a cop even though “bunnies are cute and can’t be seen as authoritative figures”. (Spoiler alert) As the fox and bunny start to become friends and solve a major criminal case together, they learn to wash away all the preconceived notions they had of other animals. HANDS DOWN, my favorite “going against the norm” moment in this movie was when the little sheep became the mastermind villain. Totally brilliant. 

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns 

If you have kids, make them watch this movie with you because you’ll all enjoy it together. If you don’t have kids, then I suggest you get in your jammies, pop some corn and watch it anyway because you don’t have kids and you can watch whatever you like! And you’ll like this, trust me. 

Sincerely,

PFP