A Simple Favor

Legitimate question to the Hollywood writers out there: DO YOU ALL RUN OUT OF IDEAS FOR THE LAST 2 MINUTES OF EVERY MOVIE???

Hit by a Prius. That’s how she goes. A Prius?! You trying to get more Bay Area viewers with that? Or maybe y’all are trying to send a subliminal eco-friendly message in your semi-dramatic-thriller-rom-com film? No wait. You talked to Lindsay Lohan and she was like “omg hit her with a bus” and you were like “we can’t ALSO do a bus! But we can do…..a PRIUS!”

I’m gonna lay out all my issues with this movie, but before that I’m just gonna quickly say HI BLAKE YOURE PERFECT ALSO HI ANNA BIG FAN.

Ok here are my problems with “A Simple Favor”:

1) Was this a comedy? A thriller? A drama? I don’t know. I didn’t laugh. Wasn’t ever really scared. Kinda thought everyone was being pretty EXTRA by the end so….maybe drama? Someone shed some light please.

2) Can we just quickly talk about Anna Kendrick’s husband/brother/lover situation? Did that ever actually get resolved? We know this- Anna has a husband who died in a car accident with her “brother”. We also saw the car go intentionally into the median, so not so much accident and more murder/suicide. Also they planted the seed of “is that guy Anna’s brother or her kid’s real dad?” And then the scene ends. WHAT!? We’re just supposed to “Inception” this ending? I need to know!!! How sneaky IS Anna?! Ugh. I need answers.

3) Is Anna’s vlog real cuz I kinda wanna know what’s in that hangover smoothie…..it was SUPER GREEN but kids were drinking it, so did it have skittles or something? Need recipe ASAP.

4) How the heck did Blake Lively get all her stuff back in her closet?? There was literally so much stuff. There’s no way Blake could have that done so fast and all by herself! It took Anna like 3 days and a long montage to do it plus she was throwing things out! As we all know, it’s way easier to unpack than to pack. I just don’t see how that was possible so there’s major plot hole #1. You’re welcome.

5) Drowning someone has to be harder than that. Just sayin. Plot hole #2.

6) While she was drowning you could see her wig come off. Plot hole #3.

7) Was Blake’s kid actually stupid? How do you go to your moms funeral and then nonchalantly be like “I saw mom today”…..uh dude. I get that you’re 8 but you gotta be smarter than that. Please know that seeing someone after they’ve died is not casual dinner conversation.

8) Why would you throw a wrench in the air hoping it would hit your eye instead of just hitting your eye? I mean, haven’t tried it, but knowing my ability to throw directly up, I feel like it’d be so much easier just to whack yourself in the face than to throw and stand and look up and not move. I don’t care enough to test my theory, but if anyone has….actually keep that to yourself.

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns

I was interested to see what happened and how it all happened, but honestly the whole movie was just so methodical that it didn’t really have any true moments of suspense or thrill or drama. It was just like “well yea obviously she killed her sister” or “well yea obviously she didn’t REALLY shoot him” or “well yea obviously she was totally gonna shoot him.” It was just so predictable. And a Prius. Really? Smh.

Truthfully Yours

PFP

Bohemian Rhapsody

Disclaimer: I watched this on Hawaiian Airlines so I’m pretty sure I watched the PG version of this movie. I’m not sure if the rated R aspects of this film would really change my review, but in case you disagree with me, there’s that.

Here’s the bottom line of this movie: Rami Malek 100% deserved to win Best Actor (if you haven’t seen the side by side comparison of his performance at Live Aid on YouTube, you must watch now), HOWEVER, this film was boring. Maybe I’ve just re-watched too many Harry Potter films recently, and this one didn’t have magic so it obviously didn’t impress me much, but also the whole plot to this movie was basically “talented quirky guy gets famous and realizes he’s gay after marrying a pretty chill girl.” I get that it’s a true story and a tribute to Queen but aside from the cool backstories behind the songs, the actual movie was just kinda bleh.

Now before everyone starts hating on this review let me say a few things:

1) Freddie Mercury was brilliant

2) Queen is and deserves to be a legend

3) The last 15 minutes of this movie were fantastic

My main issue is with the middle part of this film. You could tell the director wanted you to feel bad for Freddie like he was the victim of some huge unfair plot. They kept trying to show his soft side with the lamp scene to his ex-wife and with his cats everywhere. But the main message I got was that he was a diva and needed to just treat people decently. His anthem was to be the band that belonged to the people yet he was rude and selfish and not super pleasant to work with.

In short, I just don’t appreciate it when movie directors try to tell me how to feel about the main character. I can judge people all on my own thank you very much.

I don’t particularly like or dislike Freddie Mercury any more now than I did before watching this film, but I did learn a lot about the band. I just wish an hour of this movie wasn’t spent on watching Freddie party. Also I love how he is shocked near the end that his band didn’t like him…..uh you made fun of them all the time and treated them like your servants….when you’re mean, people don’t like you! #lifelessons

In conclusion- the acting: superb. Costumes and make up: impeccable. Songs and performances: literally perfect. Movie as a whole: not worth watching again

Popcorn Rating: 2 popped corns and 2 kernels for Rami

Maybe “Rock n Roll tribute movie” just isn’t the sub-genre for me, but I felt like I was watching The Lion King- I just couldn’t wait for them to get to the next song. I needed the plot to fast forward so I could hear the band play. Sorry if this is some sort of faux pas, but I wanted more music, less parties.

K thx

PFP

Pitch Perfect 1, 2, & 3

The “Pitch Perfect” movies are basically the premium version of the “High School Musical” movies. You think I’m wrong? I’ll prove it to you.

Image result for pitch perfect 3

The first film aka the OG was spectacular and catchy and had lines you could quote ALL DAY i.e. “I’m horizontal running”, “Love you awesome nerds “, and “Gotta getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game”, etc. Plus, in the first Pitch Perfect, Anna Kendrick and her male lead are not allowed to be together due to the female acapella group hating on the men’s acapella group similar to how Troy and Gabriela couldn’t be together because nerds and jocks don’t like each other in high school. Parallel movies so far – I think yes!

Moving on to Movie 2 – in the sequels to both of these classics, everything just gets worse. The romance is worse, the songs are worse, the plots are worse, and the extra characters do NOTHING to the overall balance and blend of the original group. On all fronts, both sequels are garbage. The only positive part of Pitch Perfect 2, specifically, was when the German acapella group sang – cause they were dope.

Finally, we get to our 3rd installment of the series. I was incredibly hesitant with “Pitch Perfect 3” because “High School Musical 3” was another bust. It was better than HSM 2, but that’s not really saying much. My real issue with HSM 3 is that Sharpay is STILL the “bad girl”! Making the same high maintenance teenager the enemy for all 3 movies is just overkill and quite frankly, uncreative. She just wanted to be “Fabulous”, and clearly she learned everything from her parents, who, by the way, are major pieces of work. So really, we should be unpacking her family background and trying to help her become a decent member of society, but instead we’re just watching her continue to sing badly and hoping she’ll embarrass herself enough on stage to distract from the fact that long distance relationships in college will NEVER work out if you look like Zac Efron. There is no realistic happy ending.

As you can see, I was extremely hesitant to invest in another 3-movie work, but after some delay and a convenient HBO GO account I stole from my sister, I decided to sit down and commit to completing the PP series. To my surprise, it was Mondo-Fabulous. I loved every minute of it! I laughed out loud at some points and loved all the songs and new cast members. I am also SUPER glad that Anna’s character did not fall in love with DJ Khalid’s assistant because it would have been far too predictable and ultimately disappointing since she can honestly do so much better! I mean, we don’t even know if he can sing OR dance…..so really, where’s the allure?

Here’s the short list of reasons you should watch Pitch Perfect 3 and complete the trilogy if you haven’t already:

1) Anna Kendrick looks BOMB in her black jumper

2) DJ Khalid is in it and he’s quite entertaining

3) Fat Amy apparently has a black belt in karate and it’s freaking wonderful

4) Hailee Steinfeld is no longer annoying, and even though she single handedly ruined “Pitch Perfect 2”, her contribution in this 3rd film almost makes up for it. keyword: almost.

5) The riff off in this movie is the best

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns

I genuinely believed that “Pitch Perfect 3” would be pretty terrible so I didn’t even make any popcorn to watch it! I am so upset with myself because this movie was popcorn-perfect and I just misjudged the trailer so hard. It’s definitely not as brilliant as the first “Pitch Perfect”, but it came real close. Definitely better than the 2nd and far better than HSM 2 & 3 combined! Yep – I said it. HSM 2 & 3 COMBINED.

Happy Watching,

PFP