I’m just gonna go ahead and state the obvious: this movie sucks. One merely has to watch the first 10 seconds of the trailer to realize that this movie will be terrible, but alas I not only finished said trailer but also then proceeded to watch…. the entire movie. It was kind of like eating those Harry Potter Bean Boozled jelly beans. You keep eating more thinking that there’s bound to be at least one good one in there, but NOPE, it’s just earwax and vomit ALL DAY.

I genuinely hope everyone reads this review first before attempting to sit through this monstrosity of a film. I don’t really have a pro/con list ready to go because I haven’t come up with any Pros yet, so instead I’ll just summarize this movie in 3 sentences:

1) Two losers in their 30s both need dates to holiday parties because they hate commitment and also no one likes them.

2) Between a fun laxative scene and a dramatic Cinco De Mayo, they fall in love but don’t want to admit it because apparently being in love is not for losers.

3) There is the most cringe-y “profess my love” mall speech you will ever see in your life and then they kiss and travel the world together with money they don’t have from jobs they don’t go to.

THE END

Popcorn Rating: 1 kernel for the laxative scene

Don’t watch this. Just rewatch “The Holiday”.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP