OH MY! This movie is cray. I don’t even know where to begin. Now I’m not sure if my desire to watch this film 7 years after it was popular was due to the pandemic and thinking that maybe watching Joaquin Phoenix fall in love with a computer would make me feel better about my quarantine life, but nonetheless I chose to watch this movie, and oh do I have thoughts.

Thoughts in order of appearance:

1) I would benefit ASTRONOMICALLY if there was a company that wrote/returned letters for me. I am horrible at writing thank you cards, birthday cards, all cards really, and if I could pay someone to not only remember to write cards for me, but also write them well and not in the car 5 minutes before the party, I would come off as such a better person.

2) I can’t remember the last time I saw Joaquin Phoenix in a role where he was this awkward. I can’t decide if I prefer him as the Joker or Johnny Cash. Either way, this role makes me uncomfortable.

3) I am somehow enjoying Scarlett Johannson as a computer. Her voice is oddly soothing. But I’m low key also picturing Black Widow saying all her lines and it’s much cooler.

4) NOPE NOPE NOPE. It’s one thing to have weird computer/human phone sex, but you start bringing in human props….IM OUT. My level of discomfort is immeasurable.

5) Ugh. Joaquin. You live in an era where people are wearing computers in their ears and no one is writing letters anymore, OF COURSE she’s “seeing other people”. Naturally, a computer can’t actually “see” anybody, but still, I can’t believe you’re being this jealous of a computer. Also, you fell in love with her?? I just. I mean. I can’t.

6) Ok, movie’s over. I feel weird. I feel sad. I feel uncomfortable. But I also feel like this could be America in 20 years. Yikes. I hope Zuckerberg doesn’t watch this.

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns

This is definitely a conversation piece FURSURE. Whether you actually WANT this conversation to happen, however, is an entirely different matter. I will say, though, that Joaquin had quite a compelling performance, but the concept was almost too on-the-nose for what might happen in the future. Overall, it just made me wildly uncomfortable, almost at the same level of when I watched “The Thomas Crown Affair” with my dad. I recommend this movie to anyone who also liked “Lars and the Real Girl”, and if you don’t know what that is, then just pass on both these movies altogether.

Truthfully Yours,

PFP