Atomic Blonde

Do you remember in the last scene of “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” when Brad and Angelina are fighting like 100 S.W.A.T. Team looking men and one shot equaled instant death? Sure it was a bit perplexing but it was also satisfying because the good guys only had to shoot once or throw one knife and the respective bad guy was down for the count.

In “Atomic Blonde” it’s the exact opposite. Charlize Theron literally stabbed a guy in the face, then inflicted multiple stab wounds to his body, beat the crap out of him, threw him down stairs and into a glass mirror and he STILL LIVED. These bad guys literally didn’t die. Unless a bullet was through a guy’s head, they kept on kicking and it was the most annoying thing in the world.

I think Charlize is one of the most beautiful actresses in America, but this movie was so bizarre and confusing that even her “atomic blonde” hair couldn’t save it. I get that she’s supposed to be some kind of female James Bond, but the plot was so complicated (and just plain awful) that all of her fighting seemed so unnecessary!

In short, the synopsis was that there was some sort of list of all the double agents/agents of the CIA (I think?) or whatever the equivalent group is called in Britain and the list was kept in a watch. The watch was wanted by the Russians and other groups of angry European men, but (subplot) the list had also been memorized by a man named Spyglass.

Charlize was sent on a mission to retrieve the watch, but when she couldn’t find it she figured she’d take Spyglass home with her since he was basically the list as well. James McAvoy was supposed to be a good guy for a moment, but a monkey could have read through that plot hole in a second. [Spoiler Alert] James ended up having the watch and then killed Spyglass so that there wasn’t a “copy” of the list. Charlize figures this out through some weird deduction skill and ends up getting the watch, killing James, and also revealing at the end that she was a double agent. Though for WHOM she was a double agent for I HAVE NO IDEA.

Popcorn Rating: 2 popped corns

I did not understand nor like this movie. The fighting was unbearable to watch and nobody died. Except Spyglass. RIP Spyglass.



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