I am well aware that I probably could have started this blog with a happy movie filled with love and unicorns, but that’s not really what I truly enjoy writing about. Instead, I would like to begin this blog with a review on Taxi Driver featuring a young Robert De Niro as a taxi driver. Now this is no ordinary taxi driver, instead Robert De Niro is a Vietnam War Veteran who drives a Taxi and gets mixed up with a 14-year-old, let’s go with, “woman of loose morals”. Now I am not a cinema major and I have never filmed a movie in my life so if you are looking for a technical review this is NOT the blog for you. However, if you are simply interested in watching this movie because you’ve heard about it and because Robert is basically at the peak of his hotness, then please read on.

Robert De Niro basically witnesses terrible New Yorkers doing terrible things as a taxi driver. However, the one event he can’t shake off is seeing this 14-year-old girl of loose morals trying to get away from a random man (you later find out he is her pimp). Now, naturally, this is a good thing – it is good that a taxi driver would not be comfortable with this situation. So hold on to your seat, my opinion is about the movie as a whole, not about specific events in the movie. Basically, Robert De Niro decides to buy a bunch of guns, shave his head into a creepy mohawk and then kill all the men that are running the “Young Women of Loose Morals” program. The movie ends (SPOILER ALERT) with Robert De Niro in a coma but a “hero” of New York for killing the terrible men of the city.

Now, here are reasons why people say they “like” this movie:

1) It’s different

2) It’s dark yet satisfying

3) It shows you how life was really like in New York after the war

4) Robert De Niro has a nice body

I agree with #1 and #4, however being “different” should NOT always mean that a movie should get 5 stars and make it on the Top 100 list of AFI. I like fritos with apple sauce and that’s different, but the Barefoot Contessa hasn’t asked for my recipe yet! Why is this movie so special? Robert De Niro doesn’t even speak for about half the movie and when he does it’s like a murmur and you’re just hoping he’s said something profound otherwise the last two hours have been for not. I also find it hard to believe that this taxi driver was the ONLY person in all of New York who used ALL his smarts to figure out where the bad guys lived. Robert had literally seen this girl twice and was able to find out where she was. Wow, great job Sherlock, you followed all the clues and found the secret wardrobe. WHAT?! This makes no sense to me. Why is this random taxi driver a “hero” and the only person who could find these terribly sick men. I’m just not buying it.

Finally my last complaint is WHAT IN THE WORLD DID THE LOVE INTEREST HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS MOVIE?? First of all I hated the lady who played Betsy because she looked too much like Marsha from the Brady Bunch and I could not get over it. Second, what was the point? He falls for her, creeps her out, stalks her, then stalks the candidate she works for, then brings guns to a presidential election speech, then….changes his mind and decides to kill every man that ran a brothel in New York? What is this plot line? How did this get pitched to people? How did they approve this?

When this movie FINALLY ends you don’t think “aw that was sweet” or “wow, great movie”. You blink twice. Check the time. Then think “wow, I legitimately hated that movie. and robert de niro. and jodie foster”. I hope this review can turn you away from watching Taxi Driver, and I also hope that the Robert De Niro you see in Meet the Parents is the mental image you will always have of him instead of the one he gives you in Taxi Driver.

Truthfully yours

PFP