Pulp Fiction. Sounds mysterious. Looks creepy. Isn’t actually interesting. Now I know some of you die-hard Quentin fans might be upset with this statement, but this movie is terrible – fact. I have watched hundreds of movies in my lifetime – scary, thriller, action, adventure, romantic, comedy, indie, etc – and most movies I see have some sort of redeeming quality, a cushion to soften the blow if you will. It might be a hunky actor, pretty female lead, plot twist, cute pet, but I am sorry to tell you that Pulp Fiction has NONE of these redeeming factors.

Let me give you the gist of this movie (SPOILER ALERT): two men (John Travolta and Samuel L Jackon) are cop-like, detective-ish, mafia folk. They do “jobs” for a Mr. Wallace – whose face you don’t actually see until the end of the movie, and these “jobs” usually involve killing people and/or taking things. Now this movie is filmed like a less complicated version of 500 Days of Summer in the sense that there are Episodes that happen however you see them in the wrong order. For example someone might die 30 minutes in, but then you will see him/her again near the end of the movie because for some reason they chose to show you the end first. Basically the 2 main characters (John and Samuel) and Bruce Willis are the main attraction in this movie, however Bruce ends up running away with his international girlfriend by the middle of the movie – so don’t be motivated to watch this because of Bruce.

Now the appeal of this movie is clearly the blood. There is lots of shooting, guns, inspirational talks, etc…to make this movie interesting enough to watch a second time for some men. However, my major issue in this movie is UMA THURMAN!!! She plays the wife of Mr. Wallace and she has an entire Episode dedicated to her drug addiction/OD. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? I do not understand why she is in this movie even more so why SHE IS ON THE COVER!!!?? I honestly thought this movie was about Uma Thurman being some sort of hardcore Elektra meets Cat Woman meets Lara Croft – but nooooooo! Uma Thurman is a crazy smoker/coke chick who goes on one bad date with John Travolta and then almost dies. WHAT? Quentin – how long did you really spend making up this movie? I would have put in, oh I don’t know, maybe another couple hours into figuring out what this ridiculous story is actually about!!

Finally – WHY must Tarantino be in all his movies?? You really want to be comparing yourself to Hitchcock – is that a smart idea? Maybe after you’ve actually produced multiple GOOD movies (emphasis on good), then MAYBE you can start thinking about momentarily appearing in ONE of them. But until then – PIPE DOWN AND LET THE TALENT WORK!

Concluding statement: If you want to see John Travolta die – watch this movie. If you want to see Uma Thurman almost die – watch this movie. If you don’t mind watching a movie that teaches you nothing and makes you wonder how Bruce Willis could ever have accepted this role after Die Hard – then watch this movie. For anyone not interested in the above criteria – I’d recommend watching paint dry because THAT would be more interesting.

Out

PFP