This will have spoilers so deal with it.

Do you remember that last scene in the Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2? If you haven’t watched it, you’re not better than me, you just weren’t a good big sister. Well, if you forgot and/or haven’t seen it, let me set the scene. The Cullens family (aka Robert Pattinson’s family) are about to fight all the other vampires that don’t like Kristen Stewart. In this final battle, literally everyone dies. Jasper (Edward’s bother-figure) dies. Carlisle (Edward’s father-figure) dies. Dakota Fanning dies. Michael Sheen dies. Other less famous actors whose characters are important in this trilogy die. Again, literally everyone dies. HOWEVER, right after the battle is basically over, they go back to the scene before the fight happened and you realize that the fight was merely a vision of the future IF the battle were to happen. Spoiler alert for Twilight – the battle never happens and everyone lives as happily ever after as you can being a blood-thirsty vampire living in Forks, Washington.

All this to say that “Avengers: Infinity War” is like the Twilight Saga battle scene minus the part where it’s just a vision. In the “Avengers: Infinity War” literally everyone dies. More specifically. Half of literally everyone in the universe dies.

To explain my feelings about this movie I will provide you with another movie analogy. Do you remember at the end of Roman Holiday when Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant have that final moment together in her palace? They just shared the most magical weekend together, fell in love the old classic Hollywood way (aka within 24 hours of meeting), but they both realize that, even though they love each other, Audrey needs to return to her palace and continue being a princess (oh yea, Audrey is royalty in this film). In the last scene of the movie, Cary Grant walks down the long hallway of her palace to leave, he turns around one last time – hoping to see Audrey before he goes, the camera zooms to the throne where you’re hoping she’ll run back out and chose him instead of her crown, but she never comes and Cary Grant leaves alone knowing he did the right thing but lost his love. It’s a heartbreaking ending….but it’s also EXACTLY how you want the movie to end.

That’s how I felt about this movie. It was a heartbreaking, but I wanted it to end EXACTLY as it did. Thanos had to win. He was too powerful, too smart, and too determined to succeed for him to fail at the end. Also, I believe Benedict Cumberbatch knows everything, so if he gave up on winning literally an hour into the movie, so should the audience. just sayin’.

Because of my love for lists, here’s a list of the things I liked about the film:

1) WAKANDA – can’t get enough of this city. So good.

2) Thor calling Rocket Raccoon a rabbit. I laughed every time.

3) Chris Pratt and Gamora finally kissing. Awkward and short lived, but still very satisfying.

4) The fighting scene with Dr. Strange and Thanos and Spiderman was amazing. Totally brilliant having Tom Holland going in and out of different light-circle places to fight Thanos (don’t know how else to describe it, but when you see it, you’ll know).

5) The Rubberband Man song sung by the Guardians of the Galaxy characters. Classic.

 

Here’s a list of the things I was frustrated about:

1) Chris Pratt. He single-handedly ruined everything. It’s actually all his fault.

2) Wanda should have obliterated the stone in Vision’s head WAY earlier! I know there was a tiny chance that the stone could have been removed from Vision’s head in Wakanda, but after the fight started she should have just realized that this was not gonna end well. And….it didn’t.

3) Why did Gamora not realize she was gonna die up on that cliff? It was pretty obvious that Thanos loved her (even if it was just a little bit). But instead of running away, she just gives this speech and laughs and then gets thrown off. Annoying.

4) Why did Dr. Strange save Iron man? I was so confused. Benedict was so clear that he would not save anyone over saving the Time Stone – and yet, Iron Man gets a knife in his side and Dr. Strange volunteers the stone immediately! What’s happening?! I don’t like this soft and considerate Benedict.

5) What was going on with the Hulk? Is it because Mark Ruffalo wasn’t angry anymore? Is the Hulk high maintenance? Since when did the Hulk not “work”? I don’t understand this relationship and it was frustrating to watch.

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns 1 kernel

This was by far the best Marvel movie I’ve ever seen. Though if you’ve read any of my other reviews, the bar is actually pretty low cause I haven’t really liked any of the Marvel movies. However, this movie is just a great movie – even when comparing it to non-Marvel movies. I loved all the quick scene changes – you were always in the middle of something as a viewer, and the fact that this had about 75 main characters in it was pretty phenomenal. Finally, the best part was the ending. I love when the villain wins because they’ve earned it. Thanos legit earned that win. If the Avengers had won, it would have been because of some loophole that would have frustrated me. Congrats Marvel for making an awesome superhero movie that wasn’t ridiculously improbable – just moderately improbable.

Final question: How the heck is Tony Stark gonna get off that planet?

Best

PFP