Remember in third grade when your teacher would ask you, “if you were stranded on an island and could only bring three things, what would you bring?” And of course, being in third grade, you would say, “my blanky, a book, and my pillow”. As if all you had to do was wait two hours for someone to pick you up. If only every third grader had seen Cast Away! This movie made me realize that to survive on an island I need a FedEx airplane full of packages, a volleyball, and a picture of Helen Hunt. 

There will be a lot of spoiler alerts with this review, so beware! If you haven’t seen this movie and also haven’t talked to anyone who’s seen this movie, and you still want to keep the ending a surprise, then go ahead and watch the movie now and finish this fab review later! Otherwise – here goes. 

Let me start by saying I love this movie. Then I would like to add that the more times I watch this movie, the less I love it. The first time I saw Cast Away I literally weeped at the end and felt sick to my stomach for about 85% of the film. The second time I watched it, I was sick only 40% and shed a tear at the end. The 3rd-5th times I just got impatient and at the end just wanted to slap Helen Hunt. Now who knows what I’d feel – it’s been quite a journey. Basically, after 5 views of this movie, here are my current concerns: 

1) What happened to Tom Hanks tooth? He passes out and then what? Is it out? Healed? Passing out does not mean the tooth ache has been resolved, Hollywood!! I need answers.

2) I cannot believe how strong Tom’s big toe is? That cannot be real. Everyone knows that scene where he’s making his “rope” from leaves (need more details on that too please) and it’s all tied around his big toe and he’s pulling like crazy to make a tight braid and all the force of his pulling is going against his big toe?! What?! No toe can double as an anchor. I don’t understand.

3) 5 Years??!! 5 years of eating fish and coconuts? If I remember correctly, there was a food pyramid my PE teacher was telling me I needed to abide by otherwise I’d die. Pretty sure fish and coconuts were not the entire pyramid. SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW TOM IS ALIVE. 

4) Helen sucks.

5) Is it just me or is there anyone else that feels super bad for all those people who didn’t get their Christmas gifts that year? I feel so awful every time I watch that plane crash. Yes, I feel bad for Tom Hanks, but there’s also some girl out there that was supposed to get ice skates and instead it was used as a knife for 5 years on an island. Poor little ice skate-less girl. 

Popcorn Rating: 4 popped corns 

This movie is a classic. Tom Hanks obviously does an amazing job, and so does his supportive actor, Wilson the volleyball. Overall it is a must see, but I am warning you, the more times you watch it, the more frustrated you’ll be. 

Truthfully Yours,

PFP