Rebel Without A Cause

This movie makes no sense, but James Dean is SO HOT that you should watch it.

First off, James Dean is in high school, however he’s at one of those Hollywood high schools where everyone looks like they’ve graduated from college already. However they haven’t stopped drinking every night of the week so they’ll pass as 16.  Nice job, Hollywood, ya got me.

Secondly, Natalie Wood’s character makes you want to home school ALL your children. How do people get like this after only 16 years of life? I CAN’T. The fact that James Dean has a crush on Natalie is the exact reason why this movie is a joke. NOBODY as scrumptious as James Dean should even be TEMPTED to crush on the viper that is Natalie Wood’s character.

Finally, SPOILER ALERT, if there is a shooter in THE GETTY, wouldn’t you think that the policemen would maybe, um, GO INSIDE THE BUILDING. Hi, a teenage kid could easily spend a WEEK in there without needing to come out for air. I’m positive there’s vending machines somewhere and drinking fountains, so this movie SHOULD have turned into a longer version of “127 Hours”. Instead, James has to save the day by convincing his friend to come out without the gun. Unfortunately, this friend just happens to be afraid of light. WHAT?! WHO IS THIS KID?! He flips his lid after a LIGHT shines on him. Who wrote this? I give up on trying to understand this movie.

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In conclusion, the only reason this movie is on the AFI list is because stupid teenagers die and James Dean is yummy. If you are looking to be educated on anything, don’t watch this movie.

Popcorn Rating: 1 popped kernel – only for James

PFP

 

 

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