The Greatest Showman

THIS MOVIE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. I AM SO IMPRESSED. I AM PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE BEST MUSICAL SINCE EASTER PARADE AND I AM OBSESSED WITH EASTER PARADE.

I’m done with caps lock. Here are more of my thoughts:

First off, how have none of these songs been on the radio?! I literally hear the same freaking Coldplay song every morning like these stations are stuck in 2005 and still NO ONE’S PLAYING THIS SOUNDTRACK? (Ok I lied about the caps lock). Let me just say that if you can play a song called “Panda” on the radio where the chorus is literally “Panda Panda Panda Panda” you can play “The Greatest Showman” soundtrack. It is so bomb I can’t even explain.

Second off, praise the Good Lord for the High School Musical series because without them we could not be this ecstatic about the fact that Zac Efron is finally in a musical that doesn’t make you cringe every time he has a line. Also, HI ZENDAYA WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. Where were you during High School Musica 3, huh? Sorry Vanessa, but Zendaya can do yoga in the air with a rope and a hula hoop, you’re just good at math and imma need you to leave Zac alone now. (If you don’t get these references you should probably read up on some HSM trivia).

Third off, Keala Settle aka the bearded lady was hands down my favorite singer in this movie. If you haven’t seen it, she was basically Beyoncé in “Dreamgirls” with a beard. The notes she was hitting were stupid and I don’t care how much cleavage she was showing, her voice justified all questionable costume choices. You do you boo boo!

Fourth off, when Hugh Jackman doesn’t have to sing a duet with Russell Crow he is AMAZEBALLS. The only critique I have for Hugh is in the scene where he is chasing down the train to get his wife. He is literally sprinting for his life and still singing. That’s not possible because I try to do that at the gym all the time, and I can promise you that after you hit the “purposeful jog” pace, you can’t sing. So I know for a fact that it was not realistic and/or believable that Hugh could sing so beautifully while sprinting and jumping for a train. Nice try, Hollywood, but I’m gonna have to burst that bubble.

Fifth and finally, what I love most about this movie is the fact that it celebrates humanity and everyone’s differences. I want to get tattoos AND be tall AND learn to trapeze. Not sure if that was the moral of the story but I’m inspired so good job PT Barnum. I am filled with joy and I will 100% watch your movie again.

Popcorn Rating: 5 popped corns

I have already memorized every word in “Rewrite the Stars” and I will be grabbing every rope I see from now on just in case Zac Efron is waiting to catch me and tell me he wants to be with me and can’t hide it anymore. Wish me luck.

Love,

PFP

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