I literally cannot imagine what it must have been like watching this movie in theaters. Holy crap. I was on my phone for basically half the movie because I had to google what they were saying. And yes, I know they have those 3 little moments in the movie where a celebrity comes out and does a “real estate jargon for dummies” bit, but quite frankly that was over my head too. AND THEN because that was supposed to be “real estate for dummies”, I felt like even more of an idiot when I had to google their analogies that they gave to explain the jargon that I still didn’t understand. WHAT IS HAPPENING. All of Wall Street scares me and I know that in the movie they said that the reason people don’t ask questions is because of the super secret code names and acronyms they have for “money talk”, but I am here to tell you that IT WORKS. I was so overwhelmed with all the acronyms that I could not keep track of what was going on. With all that said, (once I googled the plot synopsis and the definitions of all Wall Street terminology), this movie was very interesting and very real and very terrifying.

One thing I’d like to talk about in regards to this film has to do with the 3 different stories going on. Now I get that this is based on real life and that this really did happen (in most aspects) in the 2008 stock market crash. However, if you’re gonna make a movie with Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, and Ryan Gosling you HAVE to make them be friends. I don’t care how much people hate “Love Actually” but that movie has the most satisfying ending in the world! That moment when you realize that everyone is connected to each other is hands down the best feeling at the end of any film. So, like an idiot, I was waiting for 2 hours to see how Brad Pitt was gonna randomly be Christian Bale’s older brother and how Ryan Gosling was gonna end up being his neighbor or something like that, but NOOOOOO. I just watched 3 beautiful men be part of 3 completely different story plots and then realize at the end that the only thing they had in common was that they all got rich by betting on America falling apart. How rude.

I get that changing a movie based on a real story means that you have to change a bit of reality, but everyone knows that “based on true events” means that it’s only 40% real. Plus, the only reason people want to see this movie anyhow is because the cover of the DVD is basically a cover for a perfume ad.

Popcorn Rating: 3 popped corns and 1 kernel for Ryan Gosling in his oh so wonderful slim fit suit

Overall, if you are “money savvy” and/or like Wall Street and Real Estate talk this movie is perfect for you. If you like to google acronyms and/or use your dictionary app, this movie is also perfect for you. Enjoy watching Christian Bale have a glass eye!

Truthfully Yours

PFP