If I could choose one movie that I could permanently erase from my brain it would be “Chinatown”. Can Jack Nicholson be in a normal movie just ONCE? I mean, “As Good As It Gets” kind of counts, except for the fact that he did that one WAY too late in his career. Something needed to happen between “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” and “Chinatown”……a 2003 Rom Com does NOT change your image after you’ve done two MAJOR creeper movies.

Now, if you haven’t seen Chinatown, hopefully you’ve at least heard the infamous phrase, “My daughter, my sister, my daughter, my sister.” I challenge you to think of the grossest scenario to which this phrase could appropriately be used, and BINGO you’ve got it. SPOILER ALERT: in this movie, the female lead had a daughter that is ALSO her sister because, guess what, her dad raped her. What happened to Hollywood where this pitch became a MOVIE?! “Hey, I have this idea, now imagine a mother daughter combo where it’s ALSO, wait for it, a sister sister relationship!” CUT. Go home, tell your folks you now work at McDonald’s.

Jack – Why did you say yes to this role and then ONE year later say yes to CUCKOO’S NEST?? Are you trying to be the weirdest person in America? Congrats. You win hands down. I officially boycott all Jack Nicholson movies. Make better life choices.

So to prevent “Chinatown” from having too much written about it – basically Jack Nicholson plays a detective, tries to solve a murder and finds out WAYYYY too much about a family that disturbs the world and ruins everything good about movies.

Popcorn Rating: 2 burnt kernels

Don’t watch this movie. Save Yourself.

PFP

PS – this movie doesn’t deserve their cover picture in my blog. deal with it.